Cartoons, Nerdery

Fan Fiction Friday: Barney and Arthur in “Barney F**KS the S**T Out of Arthur!”

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Sometimes, you know just by reading the title. Please fasten your seatbelts, because this is going to be one hell of a ride.

BARNEY WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND IT WAS A BRIGHT SUN SHINY DAY! IT HAD RAINED THE NIGHT BEFORE SO EVERYTHING WAS REALLY FRESH SMELLING AND DOGGYS WERE GOING POOPYS AND STUFF LOLZ!

Barney: It is a nice day out I tihnk I will go to Arthurs house!

Barney goes to arthurs house!

Barney: OH I LOVE that little ardvark he makes me feel tingly adn happy in my puprle penis!

Obviously, this is meant to be performed live, hence the play-like dialogue attributions.

then!
Barney says: Hey arthur I really need to go poopy mind if I use your toilet! ehe hehhh hee hee!

Arthur: WOW! INEED TO GO POOPY TOO! LETS GO POOPY TOGETHER!!!

Whatever you do, DON’T HIT THE JUMP.

Can I say I absolutely adore the “then!” before Barney and Arthur plan their joint pooping? The exclamation makes it so sudden and dramatic, like “A shot rang out!” Except it’s two children’s show stars deciding to take a dump together. Anyways, once Barney and Arthur hit the stalls, nature takes its course.

So banry and arhtyr go to the bathroom together and arthur pulls down his pants and barney gets reey reely horny and gets a boner too!!

Barney: MIND IF I STICK MY PURPLE PENIS IN YOUR ARDVARKY BUT HOEL! I RLY NEED TO STIK IT IN SOMETIHNG NOW!

Arthur: OK

And here’s where the shit happens, which I mean literally. It turns into a scat-porn, which walks the fine line of being horrendous and hilarious by only being referred to as “poopy.” Still, I’ll spare you the details. Then!
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Bloo Kazoo was walking down the street when he herad arthur and barny having sex so he went to arthurs house and smacked the fucking door wide open!!

Bloo:HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!

Arthur: gee wiz Bloo im sorry! Wanna join us!

Then more farting and sex, and it all wraps up with a lesson for the kids.

when they are done barney says:
Barney: Lets clean up! ehhheh hee hee ho ho!

Arthur and Bloo and Barney clean up the bathroom and then hav cookys and jooce and then banry and bloo go home to fosters and live hpaly ever after!

So, children, remember?when you have filthy, perverted scatalogical sex with children’s show stars, always remember to clean up afterwards.

By all means, never, ever read the full story by author SoveehtBahny here. I really, really want to believe this is some kind of parody, or some joke by somebody, but…it’s kind of long. Far longer than a “I’ll make the worst fanfic possible, and that’ll show ’em” type joke needs to be. Still, that would be far better than the idea that anyone wrote this for an actual erotic purpose.