Breaking: G.I. Joe Movie Toys Imply G.I. Joe Movie Might Not Totally Suck Balls
Of course, I mean “totally suck balls” in the strictest analytical sense, as I would never endanger my critical impartiality by pointing out that all the previews of the movie have looked like shit. Anyways, the first movie toys have surfaced, which happens to be this pack of Iron Grenadiers–Destro’s/Doctor Who’s elite guard–with a MARS base, MARS being Destro’s evil military corporation (it’s also a three-pack, with a third figure who looks just like the other two not shown in this picture). Shockingly…well, it doesn’t look terrible. Looks kind of like what I recognize as G.I. Joe, which is about the second time I’ve been able to say that about the live-action movie. Between these guys and the Transformers 2 movie Soundwave which actually looks vaguely like Soundwave, I’m afraid we’ve passed over into some parallel universe where fans are not shat upon. Eerie! Oh, there are a few more pics at ToyArk if you’re interested, and much thanks to Paul at ToyBender for the tip.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.