Mo’ G.I. Joe Movie Toy Pics, Mo’ Problems

If you’ve not had time to recover from yesterday reveal of Cobra Commander’s new look from the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra movie, I suggest you don’t take too close a look at the above picture, and just move onto another site. For the rest you, here you can see a bevy of movie toys from what looks to be one of those inserts Hasbro usually stuff into its packages, which show off the rest of the line (thanks to Hisstank, natch). Among the noteworthy bits are the Pit vehicle/playset, which seems pretty cool if a bit drab, and Snake Fries, a Mr. Potato Head I would totally get if it were of the regular Snake Eyes and not the movie one.

But of course, I’m not posting to praise G.I. Joe, but to bury it. And the last nail in the coffin is on the far left — specifically, the figure of Duke in his “speedsuit.” Now, I had assumed that the all-black Batman armor that the Joes had been wearing in the promo pics were the speedsuits. I was wrong. Here, let me show you a close-up.

My bad, that’s Robocop. I guess I was mistaken BECAUSE THEY LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE. Guh. Thank you, G.I. Joe movie makers, for turning the beloved cartoon and toyline of our youth into an international team of crappy Robocop clones with Wayans brothers inside. Incidentally, the familiar faces don’t stop there — our pal Chris Ward of Worst Cartoons Ever made another stunning realization last night:

Yep. Cobra Commander looks just like Jason X. Not even regular Friday the 13th Jason, but the Jason from space. Awesome.

in a related note, I would watch the shit out of a Robocop vs. Jason X movie.