G.I. Joe: A Real American Grave Desecrator
First off — despite the title, this is not the Cobra-fighting G.I. Joe of the ’80s; it’s the previous G.I. Joe, who was 12-inches-tall and went on shockingly boring, nondescript adventures. Two, the reason he went on boring, nondescript adventures was because he was a goddamn moron, as this video — a G.I. Joe record/storybook vaguely animated by Jim Sweet — clearly demonstrates; this dude would get outwitted by Raptor, for fuck’s sake. Still, he’s not wearing an accelerator suit, so he has that going for him. Thanks to Jacob for the tip — hope you’re feeling better after last night! (Via Buzzfeed)
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.