Nerdery

Most Shameful Con Moment: And the Winner Is…

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Although many of this week’s entries just dealt with bad or bizarre con experiences instead of shameful ones, they made for one hell of a read, especially since half the people reading this site have apparently assaulted Star Trek: The Next Generation‘s Marina Sirtis at some point. Anyways, as I promised last week, the Semi-honorable Mentions:

? Kbarb, for stealing a comic from a kid while he was having a seizure (although he lost points for not actually being ashamed of it)
? BorgQueen, for terrifying William Shatner (I know your pain)
? JPyke, if only for pointing out that Jeph Loeb doesn’t get the appeal of the Joker
? Patrick, whose friend got arrested for mugging a pay phone
? NAPalm2112, for making a song that made fun of the physically handicapped
? T-cake, for getting sexually assaulted by Man-Faye and forced to motorboat Power Girl
? Jay, for drunkenly assaulting Vampire LARPers (not shameful, but genuinely heroic)
? J-me for “CEEEELLLLLLEEEEBRAAAAAATE GOOD TIMES, C’MON!!!”
? Hollwedout, for his tasteful, restrained description of the fat-ass Star Trek family
? Mitigated Wrath for the epic tale of a hotel hotel triple-booked with a con, a hardcore Hassidic bar mitzvah, but also a TRADITIONAL JAPANESE WEDDING
? McTool for “No. Fuck you. I am not buying you a sandwich.”

Because I’m a huge softie, there are yet again two winners this week. First off, Bill:

My
best friend and I went to a Star Trek convention back in the mid-90’s.
Marina Sirtis and Michael Dorn (Deanna Troi and Worf) were the guests
of honor there.

My friend and I were standing by this door and talking about the
movie “Marked For Death” were Steven Segal killed like 1800
jamacians…which we had watched the night before. I was demonstrating
a rather wicked clothesline (In my opinion anyway) and just as I was
following thru with it, Marina Sirtis comes walking thru the door and
got my forearm across the throat!

Yes, I clotheslined Marina Sirtis. My secret shame is that I beat up
Councilor Troi. My buddy and I instantly grabbed our loot and made
tracks out of there before she knew what (or more importantly, who) hit
her!

Beating up a minor celebrity and con guest of honor? Very shameful, Bill. That earns you a shirt. And now for D:

I was cosplaying as Beramode from War of Genesis- one of my favorite costumes. … I worked out the [open shirt]problem by using surgical tape to tape myself down
around my back from behind (that sounds… just about as bad as it
actually was) …

Aaaanyway, I entered into the costume contest, and had even talked
my little sister into coming in a Belldandy costume I made her. She, at
that point, was my biggest fan, always taking pictures of me. Very cute.

So… I get up on stage…and it must have been hot because I was
sweating a little… and the glue started to wear off… at the exact
moment my number was called. And right there.. in front of the whole
con… my B’s said hello to about 400 people.

If that wasn’t bad enough, my sister started to cry because so many
people were taking pictures and I had to calm her down… with one arm
holding holding her up…and one arm holding ‘myself’ up as I booked it
for the bathroom.

I’m blushing furiously even TYPING this.

I flashed a con and made my sister cry because I was trying to do a
technically accurate costume instead of wearing a damn bando top.
That’s like… 7 kinds of shame.

Yes it is, D! Plus, by even relating this story on a website meant you had to endure 85% of the male readers asking for pictures of your exposed breasts, too. Clearly, I have to send you a shirt to keep you safely covered from now on. All in all, not a bad contest — and remind me to tell you guys about my own most shameful con moment one day — it involved a horror convention, my birthday, Gary Busey, and profuse vomiting.

One quick word — because of my arm and inherent laziness, I am super-behind of sending out shirts. Now that I can actually write again and fill out envelopes, I’ll be getting them out this week, I swear to Evil Flying Jesus. Thanks for playing, and stay tuned for this Friday’s contest — it’s going to be very, very special. (cue evil laugh here)