Sabersegging: Official Sport of Nerdy Douchebags
? The exceedingly creepy segway instructor spanks his female students with a paddle
? The lightsaber instructor “Master Flynn” — our old buddy of the ill-advised lightsaber exercise routine — declaring that there’s a “move” called a “Flynn” which is named after him
? …and that move is just two people waving their goddamn lightsabers up and down like kids have been doing with lightsaber for three decades, and with sticks for millennia
And thus, a potentially fun act of nerdery has been rendered unperformable except by enormous fucking doucebags. Guess I’ll go back to drinking and hating! Whee!
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.