Daily Lists, Movies

The 14 Most Amusing Porno Parodies of Nerdy Subjects


Whore of the Rings.jpg

By Kevin J. Guhl


Some of you might be clinging onto the notion
that Topless Robot has a shred of good taste left. Well, today’s list should
put that notion to rest, as we explore the wonderful world of porno parodies.
For just about any popular movie or TV series you can think of, someone else
has already thought of  a dirty
version of its name and spent a sweaty L.A. afternoon filming a low budget sex
romp that might have a fleeting similarity to the source being parodied, if you’re
lucky. Nevertheless, let us today salute the ability of the porn industry to
create parodies that make us chuckle and snort. Ah, the porn world’s thorough
grasp of juvenile humor is second to none. Here are the most
“clever” porn parodies of belovedly nerdy shows and movies in a shocking safe for work list in the sense there are no pictures of nipples, and only a few drawings of nipples, and no videos whatsoever. Unless, of course, your work frowns on you looking as censored porn movie covers while on the clock.

14) Twin Cheeks

Twin Cheeks.jpg

Tagline: The residents of Twin Cheeks would
like to invite you to spend the weekend… but they’re in jail.

Perhaps they’re all in jail for killing Laura
Palmer? Or having sex with? It’s both, isn’t it? Sigh. 


13) Sexbusters


Tagline: I ain’t afraid of no ho!

Sadly, this spoof doesn’t involve any sexual
shenanigans with sexy spirits, but it does feature a team of fine ladies who
are the ones you wanna call when a sex-starved wife needs her flaccid husband
turned back to the “on” position.


12) Quantum Deep

Quantum Deep.jpg

Tagline: Take an erotic trip through time.

Screw putting right what once went wrong — we
wanna see people in every possible historic and future time period having hot
sex. How this wasn’t an on-going series is beyond us.


11) Sex World

Sex World.jpg

Tagline: Is definitely for adults! (duh?)

This porn parody classic is of Westworld, in case you kids don’t get the reference. Admittedly, the fantasy resort of the porn lacks an animatronic Yul
Brynner cowboy that goes haywire and tries to kill the guests; in his place,
there is a computer that fucks people. Admittedly, it does sound like a better way to spend a vacation.


10) Buffy the Vampire Layer


Tagline: Kristi Myst Goes Down for the Count

Judging by the title, this is pretty much the
same as the Buffy TV series, only with more titties! Instead of Angel, though,
Buffy bonks Count Hymie “The Impaler” Draculwitz. Guess who gets
“staked” first.


9) Whore of the Rings

Whore of the Rings.jpg

Tagline: An all anal epic!

You have to give them credit for not opting for
“Lord of the Cockring.” But somehow, a crystal skull got in there.
Where? You don’t wanna know.


8) This Ain’t Star Trek XXX

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Tagline: They boldly go there.

There’s plenty of Star Trek porn (and no, we’re
not including T’Pol’s steamy scenes on Enterprise or Picard’s butt in TNG), but
Hustler’s parody had a big enough budget to create convincing costumes and
sets. And it all does a good job of presenting what we all suspected went on
between scenes in classic Trek. What else would you expect of a bunch of people
cooped up in a starship where hot female ensigns parade around in mini-skirts?
Not the most clever title, though.From Twin 


7) This Ain’t the Munsters XXX

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Tagline: It’s time to clear out all the cobwebs
and see what’s really going down at the Munster house!

Hustler’s series of parodies includes this gem,
which none of us really needed to see and which will surely scar our innocent
memories of the residents of 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Herman and Lily get it on,
in full make-up. And if that’s not horrifying enough, Grandpa gets in on the
action. Can this be any worse than the Addams Family porn parody that includes
a sexual liaison between a female Thing and Lurch?


6) Edward Penishands

Edward Penishands.jpg

Tagline: Consider the possibilities.

Reportedly, it’s amazingly faithful for a porn
adaptation. Except that the Johnny Depp lookalike had giant schlongs for hands.
And things get really messy when he gets excited.


5) Porn Wars: Episode I

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Tagline: Cum Join the Force!

“Jodi” training in the Porn Wars
universe involves selecting hot, young female pupils and teaching them all the
carnal arts they need to be naked warriors. Filled with the force, indeed.
Subtract one Jar Jar, add one sexy Jodi Knight, and Star Wars: Episode I would
have been the best film in the whole series. Or maybe ever.


4) Spankenstein


Tagline: A most outrageous spanking video.

A fetish video for the monster in… well…
some of you. Frankenstein’s Monster, who happens to have an appropriately large
hand, goes on a spanking spree with the women of an eastern European village.
You have to wonder if this is one of those cases where someone thought up a
funny title and then based a movie around it.


3) San Fernando Jones and the Temple of Poon

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Tagline: N/A (admittedly, the title is pretty catchy) 

Who better to play this Indy spoof than porn’s
own Harrison Ford, Ron Jeremy? San Fernando (Jeremy) is seeking a temple that
reportedly contains “the sweetest, tightest pussy on Earth.” Kind of
makes a little gold idol seem like a less impressive prize.


2) IR4: Inrearendence Day

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Tagline: In the end… We all cum together.

Since this porn parody subtracts Randy Quaid and nonsense about alien spaceships running on a Mac OS, it’s safe to say that it’s generally less ridiculous than the original despite the fact that the aliens are fucking everyone. In the ass. 


1) Penetrator


Tagline: I’ll come again!

Terminator lends itself to many great porno
spoof titles that actually were filmed – Sperminator and Inseminator among
them. But this one had the best box cover art, a near-perfect recreation of the
T2 poster, with the big exception being that the Arnold lookalike  is calmly doin’ it doggystyle. Like a
machine, even.

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