TR Contest: Hand Replacement

Back when my friends and I were playing Cyberpunk (I believe), we took a great delight in the cybernetics section, specifically the hands. For an absurd amount of credits, you could have a drill hand, a chainsaw hand, a Swiss Army Knife-type hand — all sorts of hands! Of course, the idea that someone, even in an RPG with cyborg Native American dwarves and such nonsense, would willingly pay to have their hand removed and replaced with a chainsaw for 7000 credits — instead of, you know, buying a 25 credit chainsaw and retaining the use of your goddamn hand — never, ever got old.

But now. Your hand has been viciously removed. You have ample time, materials, skills and oppprtunity to create the world’s most badass extremity. Tell me what. Portal gun? Weed wacker? One of those weird Jagermeister dispensers they have in college bars? Obviously, creativity is the key, so the less hand-like the replacement, the better. (And bonus points if you describe how you lost your hand, too.)

One entry per person, and your votes are always appreciated. You guys have a good weekend, and wish me luck; I’ll be sawing off my hand and replacing it with Diora Baird.