?There’s a few things that are synonymous with The Doctor – his TARDIS, his Sonic Screwdriver, and some hot lady following him around. The Doctor is a lonely man — er, Time Lord — and while he enjoys showing anyone around the wonders of the universe and all of history, he especially enjoys showing those same wonders to attractive ladies. Is the Doctor just a horndog? We say nay — but if you’re 900 years old, you’d probably want your traveling companions to be as easy on the eyes as possible.
But since the Doctor likes the ladies, we’ve decided to follow his lead. At the risk of projecting a voice akin to a lonely pathetic Doctor Who fanboy crying into his 12-foot scarf/burrito, here now are the ten hottest Doctor Who companions.
10) Rose Tyler
There was always a problem with Rose and that was she was very clearly and specifically supposed to be a love interest for the Doctor, what with the sad longing from the 10th Doctor and all. Somehow the wanting made her less hot. It’s like being told chocolate is the best flavor of ice cream over and over again somehow makes lemon ripple more awesome.
?Regardless, yes, Rose Tyler with her little blonde hair pouty lips and Brooke Shields-esque eyebrows did make her nice to look at, otherwise, Billie Piper would not have been cast as a call girl in a show post-Doctor Who where she coincidentally gets it on with Matt Smith.
Susan was the Doctor’s Granddaughter. Or maybe not. Considering the show is still called “Doctor Who” and not “Doctor Bob Stevenson” there are still many things that are a mystery about the Doctor’s past. Still, Susan at least called the Doctor “Grandfather” and he was very protective of her, which means that if you ever broke her heart, you may find the Doctor flinging you into the event horizon of a black hole. Still, hard not to find Susan attractive — she’s got that little short cut and soft but angular features and acts so alien, like those girls we occasionally meet in our lives who you can never quite tell if they are on a lot of medication or desperately need them, which make them damn alluring. In essence, she’s got the magnetism of Bj?rk.
See here the first part of the first episode of Doctor Who, “An Unearthly Child,” where Susan’s schoolteachers Ian and Barbara discuss her odd behavior:
Perhaps there is something about a woman who goes around in a skimpy leather outfit? Oh, okay there is something about a woman going around in a skimpy leather outfit. So much so, in the episode “The Talons of Weng-Chiang” she does get dressed up like a proper lady because Victorian London would not tolerate that sort of indecency. Then again, Victorian London would probably consider a woman taking off her shoes to be a strip show. Regardless, Leela in her leather outfit? Sexy. Oh also she can paralyze you with Janis Thorn darts and then skin you alive. A woman who can easily kill you is like chugging a bottle of Jack Daniel’s — while jumping out of an airplane — very dangerous yet somewhat seductive.
Here’s a collection of clips from the “Talons of Weng Chiang” where she is dressed like Eliza Doolittle, but retains her savage ways. By the way, she does get extra points for having the same name as the Futurama Leela , although there’s no relation.
7) Perpugillium “Peri” Brown
Breasts breasts breasts. This is the companion where you were most aware of her breasts, mostly because her character was not nearly as developed as the breasts were. Perhaps it was because her character was supposed to be an American, which was difficult to believe as she occasionally dropped into a British accent and used words like “lift” and “lever.” Regardless, the producers clearly tried to make up for her lack of character with her fashion sense — I think Peri wins the prize of “Doctor Who Companion Most Consistently Wearing Tight Outfits.” Peri had the misfortune of being abducted by the ruthless Sharaz Jek, (who was apparently copying Lady Gaga’s style before she invented it) and got poisoned, then heroically saved by the Fifth Doctor, who heroically gives his own chance to save his life to save her, regenerates into the Sixth Doctor and then almost immediately tries to strangle her. Who said pretty girls get all the breaks? Yeesh.
Anyway, to reiterate the breasts, here’s Peri in her first appearance, which clearly shows what aspects of her they were promoting.
6) Martha Jones
How can one look at Martha Jones and not think she’s hot? She’s almost problematically hot, like you couldn’t possible even think of asking her out on a date because if you did go on a date with her you would be constantly interrupted by people trying to ask her out on a date.
“Excuse me but can I get your phone number?”
“We’re on a date.”
“I’ve been in line for fifteen minutes!”
…and so forth.
Also, one has to wonder where she keeps the hairstylist. She always seems to have supernaturally perfect hair.
5) Zoe Hariot
She’s from the 21st Century (hey, that’s ours!) with a cute little upturned nose and bob cut. That, and she’s an Astrophysicist with a photographic memory and a genius level intelligence. So, a woman who not only looks good but can do vector calculus standing on her head? Be still my oscillating waveform! Zoe also has a strange and alluring sense of fashion, as shown in this clip in which she uses her knowledge of mathematics to make an evil computer blow up:
I repeat, she makes a computer blow up through math. How do you not want her?
4) Sarah Jane Smith
There’s a reason that she was picked to be in a spin-off show with K-9 not once, but twice — she’s just damn appealing. Not only is she cute with her friendly, slightly crossed eyes and pursed lips, but she doesn’t take any crap, while being very optimistic and friendly even aliens that look like they may fall apart at any second.
Also, consider this — in her appearance in the episode “School Reunion,” Elizabeth Sladen was 57 at the time. She sure looks good for a woman around her sixth decade. Seriously.
3) Romana I
The first Romana was beautifully elegant. She was also the first companion of the Doctor who was also a Time Lady. Who doesn’t want to have sex with a Time Lady? I mean, a lady have a milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard, but a Time Lady’s yard is bound to be bigger on the inside than on the outside, which makes it fit more boys. Also, again, smart is sexy and Romana was almost equally as smart as the Doctor.
Here we see a portion from “The Pirate Planet” where The Doctor fails to get the attention of the locals; around the 2:36 mark, you can see that K9 suggests to let Romana try because, simply because “she is prettier than you, master.” Quite right.
2) Amy Pond
Holy fuck on a stick. She’s not only a redhead and looks fantastic but she’s got that Scottish brogue that gives her a bonus of +10 hotness. Though that’s not really what puts her near the top of the list — it’s all of that plus the fact that she’s, smart, confident and fearless. Extra bonus points for doing what most companions of the Doctor have wanted to do but have been too chicken shit to do it — actively saying, in no uncertain terms, that she wants The Doctor and then actively going for it. Confidence in a lady is just as sexy as in a man.
?I was going to include a video, but a search of “Amy Pond” on Youtube brings up about 4,000 different swooning re-edits of Amy Pond set to slow-tempo music and…nobody really needs to see that. So enjoy the pic.
1) Romana II
So Romana regenerated for reasons that don’t really make sense in the series; in reality Mary Tamm was tired of being relegated to a damsel in distress despite her character being a match for the Doctor in intelligence and ability. Fair enough. In her place, we get a short ,blonde little perky Romana with an enormous smile. Some might say that the first Romana was more attractive than the second, but I think this one is just more attractive. She’s got such charm to her. She smiles, you want to smile back. Also, Lalla Ward, the actress who played the character, went and married Tom Baker for a while before moving on to long-time husband Richard Dawkins after her friend Douglas Adams arranged a meeting. What kind of girl marries the Fourth Doctor and then leaves him to marry Athiest Central with the help of the Forefather of Forty-Two? Answer: THE LORD HIGH QUEEN OF NERDS.
Therefore, the second Romana gets about a billion bonus points to sexiness. Here’s her above in the Adams-penned “City of Death” being as cute as ever.