Nerdery, Video Games

Fan Fiction Friday: Sora and Winnie the Pooh in “Honeypot”

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?Wasn’t someone complaining recently that I never featured any videogame characters other than Sonic? And someone else was complaining that I’d never posted any Kingdom Hearts fan fiction? Well, your insanely misguided wish is my cruel command. Let’s enjoy a little romp through 100 Acre Wood from the author Ghost Wilkis, shall we?

“Yoo guyth!” Sora yelled, most of the sound choked off by a big orange
carrot he had crammed deep in his mouth. “Thith ithint funny!”

“Then why are we laughing! Ghyuk!”

Sora wiggled and squirmed but it was useless, the walls of Rabbit’s
house were too tight. Pooh was getting stuck in here all the time, but
even Sora couldn’t budge an inch, crammed in here by his friends as some
sort of prank.

He kicked his feet as he felt hands pull his pants off. He felt sunlight
on his ass. Those losers were going to expose him to the whole 100 Acre
Wood!

He tried again to bite through the carrot but that was useless too. His
teeth were wedged in it but it was too thick and hard to bite through.
He huffed angrily, those guys were going to get it when he got…

Ooo.

If you’re troubled about why Sora seems unable to bite through a carrot, please hit the jump. I promise you’ll forget all about the carrot almost instantly.

He froze and moaned into his carrot, cheeks blushing pink. He felt a
finger, probably Goofy’s, slide up inside his little tight asshole. It
was gooey with something, and warm, and slid greased deep inside. The
finger pulled out and a second later it was back, leaving goopey trails
in his little pink butt, feeling it drool down his pale legs.

Please enjoy the subtle hint that Sora feels confident in his ability to tell his friends’ fingers apart purely through his anus.

“Yoo…yoo guyth…” he mumbled weakly. “St-sthop it…” He was totally
red and a little sweaty, struggling in the dark of Rabbit’s unoccupied
house.

The finger stopped probing and soon hands started smearing his tight
smooth asscheeks with something, sticky and slimy. Now it was all over
his but and rolling down his legs, not only was he captured and
displayed, now he had crap all over him. Some friends they were.

Well, like they always say: You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick which friends will stick their finger in your asshole given the first opportunity.

He froze as he heard Donald and Goofy’s laughter fading away, like they
were leaving. He called out, but they were gone. He was alone.

But not for long.

“Oh, my tumbly is rumbly again…” Murmured an all too familiar voice. “Maybe Rabbit will have some honey…”

Sora felt cold. He knew what that gooey stuff was now. No. Oh no.

“His tumbly may be rumbly, but my anus is feeling heinous!” thought Sora.

“Here is some!” Came the warm slow voice of Pooh bear. “But what a
strange honeypot! A moving honeypot at that! What will Rabbit think of
next.”

Is Pooh really so stupid that he can’t tell the difference between a honeypot and a boy’s ass, or is this just an elaborate deception on his part so he can lick boys’ assholes with impunity? I’m betting the latter.

Sora yelled soundlessly into the fat carrot, kicking his legs to drive
the hungry bear away but the fuzzy little paws were strong and held him
fast as a furry nose started to brush his legs.

A soft wet little mouth started to suckle at the skin of his legs and
thighs hungrily, licking with a smooth moist tongue. Sora murmured
helplessly, twitching as the mouth tasted his honey dripping skin. He
tried not to but his small pale cock got firmer, bouncing against his
fat tight ballsack as the bear feasted.

How You Know FFF Has Forever Ruined You #358: You’re more concerned why the author decided Sora has a small dick and huge balls than the fact that Winnie the Pooh is giving him a rimjob.

The bear made little noises of satisfaction, mumbling with a mouthful of
sticky honey. He ran his tongue in long wet trails along Sora’s smooth
pink cheeks, sucking on the globes and popping them on his mouth.

“Why, I haven’t had such a wonderful meal since I motorboated those two honey-baked hams,” thought Pooh.

Soon the tongue was circling around to his anus, taut and bubbling with
freshly applied honey. Sora groaned pathetically in the dark as he heard
Pooh’s lips smacking, sweat beading furiously on his flush shiny face.


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?Please note: Any time an anus is described as “bubbling,” it will get a Toht. I know the author surely means the honey was bubbling — although honey doesn’t really do that — but now I can’t stop visualizing Sora’s asshole bubbling, and I just want to die.

Spreading Sora wide, Pooh put his whole mouth over his asshole and slid
his long soft tongue inside. Sora spasmed, gasping into his vegetable
gag, as the tongue explored inside his crevice, slurping and sucking
honey out like a vacuum. He felt his cheeks squeeze against Poohs soft
velvety muzzle, biting his lower lip and wishing it didn’t feel so good.
He felt Pooh’s paws tug at his waist, driving him deeper onto his
mouth, trying to get every drop of sweet honey. Sora groaned as he felt
himself starting to cum, his dick hard and glistening in the sunlight.
In some horrible coincidence, Pooh had nearly finished himself and made
one last sucking motion with his cheeks, pushing Sora far over the edge.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have achieved… POOHKKAKE.

He came, crying out in the dark, his legs and cock jerking as he
finished. His big blue eyes were bright and shining with tears of pure
pleasure, mouth opened wide as orgasm washed over him. As his balls
bucked and his splattered his white semen on the dirt exterior of the
house, his mouth had popped wide enough to let the carrot out, sliding
against his cheeks gooeyly as it fell to the floor, coated with saliva
that dripped out of his slack mouth in long glistening trails.

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT CARROT

As if to add insult to injury he felt Pooh’s mouth tickle his limp oozing dick, making him wince and whine weakly.

“More honey I see! But not any kind of honey I know…”

Seriously, Pooh. You’re not fooling anyone. You are a fucked up little bear. That’s why you can’t play with Christopher Robin any more.

“Pooh, are you stuck in my house again…” Came the voice of Rabbit,
coming home annoyed as usual. “I swear, every day it’s the same
old…POOH! What are you doing!”

Jesus, I’m feeling for Rabbit here. I mean, on a good day, Pooh actually breaks into his house and eats his (real) honey. But today, he comes home to find Pooh committing statutory rape and contributing to the delinquency of a minor on his front porch. Also, his front door is covered in semen. Seriously, Rabbit, it’s time to get a fucking lock.

The sound of Goofy and Donald breaking out into gales of cartoon laugher
met Sora’s red ears. His face was red, his face dark and humiliated in
the dark, the coat of sweat cooling.

Ha ha! It’s funny because they let their friend be sodomized by a bear!

Those losers. They were really going to get it this time…

THE END. Somehow I doubt Donald and Goofy are really going to “pay” for their crimes, although if you’d like to hear more of their trio’s sexploits, Ghost Wilkis has more including a vividly detailed description of Goofy’s penis that will haunt you the rest of your days. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to throw away everything in my kitchen containing honey and set it all on fire.