Real-Life Quiddith Players Are Determined to Make Me Want to Give Them a Wedgie

?Full disclosure: I find people who play quidditch in real-life extremely ridiculous. This is for a variety of reasons, the biggest ones being:

? It’s a sport from a children’s book series
? It’s horribly thought-out sport in reality
? It requires players to stick brooms between their legs and pretend to be flying.

While I may scoff at the nerds who play Quidditch in organized teams in college, I understand that they can and should scoff at me for my massive He-Man collection. It’s their thing, I have mine, we’re all nerds together, live in peace, yadda yadda. Until… now. From NPR:

Next weekend, more than 60 different teams from high schools and
universities across the country are expected to gather at De Witt
Clinton Park in New York City for the fourth annual Quidditch World Cup.

Harvard
University, M.I.T, Yale, Penn State, Duke — several prestigious
universities are registered for the World Cup and count quidditch among
their extracurricular activities. Not bad for a game that just a few
years ago existed only in the pages of the Harry Potter series.

University of Maryland student Valerie Fischman isn’t satisfied with quidditch’s current status, however.

She’s waging a long-shot campaign for recognition from the National Collegiate Athletic Association.

“I
think that having NCAA status will give it a little more credibility
and help keep it around a little bit longer,” Fischman says. “I’m hoping
that it stays around after the Harry Potter generation leaves college.”

Good fucking luck. Even if she manages to fuflfill all the requirements necessary to be recognized by the NCAA, I’m betting they probably won’t make it a national sport, possibly because THE GAME WAS MADE UP IN THE HARRY FUCKING POTTER BOOKS AND MAKES PLAYERS PRETEND TO FLY ON BROOMS. Jesus. 

Apparently, it’s not enough to play an imaginary game played by adolescent wizards — you have to be recognized by the fucking National Collegiate Athletics Association too? No. No you do not, and you’re embarrassing yourselves beyond measure by even asking, and embarrassing all nerds at the same time. Just play your game, look ridiculous, and have a good time. Please. This is the first rule of nerd-dom — don’t call attention to yourself, especially from non-nerds!

This is like asking the school principal to make the football team play Magic: The Gathering with you. No one will possibly win in that scenario but you, and even if you do, you’re going to get wedgied everyday for the rest of your life. (Via Nerd Bastards)