Comics, Movies, Nerdery

Fan Fiction Friday: Batman, Robin and Poison Ivy in “Breasts”



?Although the new Bane was revealed earlier today, let’s take a look back to Bane’s first movie appearance, back when he was a mindless minion of Poison Ivy, as played by Uma Thurman. Then let’s forget about Bane, because this story by author Alexander is really just about Poison Ivy and her tits, which you might have gathered from the story’s title. Although Alexander would like to point out he’s writing about Uma-Ivy, in case you want to envision the proper breasts in your mind.

“I want to show you something little Robin…”

It caught him completely off guard. It had only been a matter of
seconds and her tits were suddenly staring him right in the face. The
chaos going on around them seemed to fade away as mother nature’s
natural hypnosis sunk in. As he got lost in erotic thought, there was no
decision to be made, her tits were amazing, and he wanted them.

“You can touch them if you want to, go ahead…”

Robin stood motionless, how could he turn down such an offer? It was
only moments ago when the call had come in. Ivy, Bane, and her plant
army were reigning hell in one of the city banks. The police were
useless as usual, luckily Batman and Robin were able to respond before
too much damage was done. The second they arrived however, everything
went south. Robin and Batman attempted to double team Bane, little did
they know that Ivy had brought some plants, whose vines were giving
Batman a difficult time. Ivy was throwing money into bags when he landed
next to her. Bane had thrown Robin her way, as she instructed him to
do. Robin was in a world of pain when he started to get up, little did
he know he had fallen into a very provocative trap pre-mediated by Ivy

Really? Robin doesn’t suspect that Poison Ivy laid a trap? That’s all Poison Ivy does, for fuck’s sake. She’s a villainess. You think she’s just popping her top because she’s hoping to get on Gotham Girls Gone Wild? Oh well. Let’s continue after the jump.

As he struggled to get to his feet, Ivy slowly approached him, blowing a
handful of her pheromone dust his way. The dust filled the air around
them, slowing Robin’s senses as he breathed it in. It smelled sweet, of
flowers, making you want to take a deep breath to get a better wiff such
a wonderful scent. Robin was already breathing heavily, the pheromones
took effect almost immediately on his senses. 

Ivy and Robin were off to the corner where they wouldn’t be bothered.
It was perfect, just as Ivy had planned. Robin was caught completely off
guard by her pheromones. She blew another handful as Robin looked up at
her for the first time. Ivy made sure he got a good look at her body
before she said anything to her prey. She watched as his eyes worked
from the ground up, admiring her legs, with her tight green latex. The
pheromones taking effect as he got to her hips, and ass, both of which
were just begging to be grabbed. He took another breath as he looked
further up her beautiful form. His eyes landed on her breasts, oh those
marvelous breasts. His eyes were glued on those breasts;Robin took a
long mental photo of them, Ivy noticed.  He eventually made his way up
to see her long red hair flowing down like a waterfall, she grinned at
him, her trademark poison lipstick clearly visible. Her green eyes
caught his gaze, he got lost in them.

“How nice of you guys to drop by. Why do I always seem to be the only
girl at these parties? You and the bat should really make some more
friends. ha ha!”

“Hilarious. You’ll never get away with this one Ivy. The building is
completely surrounded, you think you’re just going to walk out of here
with all this money unscathed? Get out of my way, I’ve gotta go help

She blew some more pheromone dust his way. She aimed it right at him,
he breathed in almost all of it in. The sweet smell stayed with him as
the pheromones played tricks with his mind, landing on his brain,
slowing his senses. He knew was supposed to be somewhere, doing
something, but what? His gaze went back to Ivy 

“Gotta what?” Her voice sounded like sweet, seductive, like nothing he’d ever heard before.

“Gotta catch ’em all!”

Still confused, Robin barely got out. “I’ve gotta….” 

More pheromone dust blown his way,  he had taken three hits of it, a
lethal dose. His mind was like mush, he couldn’t think, all he could do
was look at Ivy. Her voice was like music to his ears, he just wanted to
listen to whatever she had to say. How wonderful it was to be with her,
he knew nothing about her, but she had made him soo fixated on her that
he completely forget about the battle raging in the background.

And then Robin died, because it was a lethal dose. Which means it’s fatal, and none of the shit that’s about to happen should happen. Sigh.

“Why don’t you hang out for a bit? Take a break? You look so tense
little Robin! Would you like Ivy to give you a massage? Ill make all
that pain melt away….”

Her arrogance towards the situation almost turned him on. She blew more
pheromone dust at him, insuring her complete control over his thoughts.
He’d follow her every command.

Oh shit! Now he’s had an extra lethal dose! He may die twice!

The lack of thought in his mind left only his physical needs to control
his body. He wanted to accept her offer, because who knows where a
massage with Ivy could go, only to places Robin had fantasized about.
Ivy was much older than him, at about 35 yrs old, Robin still a young 19
year old found the idea of being with an a very dominant older woman
extremely arousing. And yet his training from Batman still shined
through, his subconscious still could tell how dangerous such a
situation could be.

So let me get this straight: Batman and Bane are just beating the shit out of each other maybe 20 feet away, and Robin thinks that maybe Poison Ivy’s offer of a massage might lead to second base? Oh, Fan Fiction Fridays, your utter incomprehension of basic human interaction never ceases to amaze me.

“No, I really gotta go Ivy…

She saw that coming, but none to worry, she had a backup. She got
closer and put her arms around his neck, taking him off guard. Inches
away, Robin could smell her perfume, her breasts almost touching his
chest, her ass easily grabbable. He knew this was wrong, but he couldn’t
push her away. 

“Forget the massage, I want to show you something my little Robin…”
She had already begun to plant the idea of him being in her possession.

GET IT? GET IT? PLANT? You probably get it.

“…something the Bat probably wouldn’t approve of. But you’re almost
“all grown up” and I think you can have a look. And don’t think I didn’t
see you staring anyway. You’re a breast man aren’t you little Robin?”

“Yes…, err, I mean…. “

Ivy grinned at how well her pheromones worked and how completely off
guard she had caught him. She has been watching the growing bulge in his
pants as this situation went on. He’s going to easier than I thought as
she smirked.

Except that he’s going to die any minute, because you gave him a lethal dose of your pheremones.

“Seriously Ivy, I really need to be going…”

This is officially the most polite a superhero has ever been to a supervillain during a battle.

And before he could move, there they were. She unzipped her costume
just enough to reveal her wonderful breasts. They were spectacular. If
Ivy’s pheromone dust hadn’t done him in before, this hypnotic site was
enough to enslave him for eternity. A whole 20 seconds passed without a
word said . Robin just stared, in shock, in amazement, in wonder. They
had almost almost a hypnotic hold over him that he just could not break.

“Go ahead and feel them.”

“No, I ….” He wanted to, so badly. He wanted everything about them.
The male attraction to breasts took hold over him, he wanted to touch
them, grope them, play with them. He wanted to kiss them, lick them,
suck on them. And it didn’t stop with the breasts. All sorts of ideas
began to pop into his mind that shouldn’t have been there. He wanted
Ivy, he wanted to do her will, he wanted to please her. There was
something about her that he found irresistible.

Really? There was something about Poison Ivy that Robin found irresistible? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it’s her tits. Just a guess.

“You know you want to …. and maybe you can even suck on them for a bit…” 

Was she reading his mind? It was all too much.

Yeah. Because Poison Ivy would really need fucking telepathy to make that leap. Hell, maybe she’s the new World’ sGreatest Detective. “Here are my tits! I bet you’d like to put your mouth on them, huh? BOOM, YOU’VE JUST BEEN DETECTIVED.”

Was this real? This was a
bank robbery, not a sexual fantasy. He needed to be off fighting Bane,
helping Batman, and yet here he was. Staring at Ivy’s breasts. Robin had
never fantasized about many women, usually girls at school, but never
the villains, of course Harley Quinn would show up in a fantasy now and
then, but never Poison Ivy. It must be the pheromones giving him these
sexual, obedient feelings towards her, and even so, that’s just as good
of a reason if any to touch her breasts, right? His mind made up, he
started to move his hand, upwards and outwards towards Ivy’s breasts,
towards paradise.

Why “of course” Harley but “never” Poison Ivy? If I was Ivy I’d be kind of offended.



Both Robin and Ivy turn around to see Batman doing battle with Bane and Ivy’ plants. 

“A little help?

Robin snapped out of the trance, and started to head over to Batman.

“But wait….” Robin stopped. He turned around to look at Ivy. And
there she was, still staring at him, still with her tits exposed. Her
gaze, her tits, drew him back in, she was able to put him right back
into the trance again, he stopped heading towards Batman, and started to
slowly head back towards her, he was going to take her up on her offer,
her hold over him was very strong, he didn’t even realize he was doing
it, his subconscious wanted her, and wanted her bad. 

Robin started to make his way back to Ivy..”Go ahead little robbie, feel them…”  Robin started to reach out to grab them,

“Robin, common!” Batman shouted.

“The rapper? Common? Where?!”

Robin stopped again, and started to head back to Batman and the task at
hand. Robin looked back, Ivy seductively smiled at him. And he got back
into the fight.

What was going on? he thought. Snap out of it Robin!, get back in the
game. But he couldn’t, his mind wandered, his fighting was lacking. All
he could think about was Ivy, Ivy and those tits.

And that’s just the end of Chapter 1. Chapter 2 awaits.

Ivy and Bane had managed to escape when Ivy ordered her plants out of
the bank to wreak havoc all across the city. In the chaos, she managed
to slip away. Robin went back to the scene afterwards to look for her,
to look for a clue. She dominated his thoughts, she was all he could
think about. He went back to the corner where he had his encounter. On
the ground was a potted plant with a small rose pedal sitting in the
dirt. On one side was lipstick kiss mark, and on the other was an email
address. Ivy had a computer?

WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER WOULD HAVE A COMPUTER– oh. Everyone. Everyone has a computer. Never mind.

Back at the mansion Dick went back and forth. Should he email her?
Should he just let it go? The sexual tension was building, he started to
get hard just thinking about her. He started to masturbate, while
thinking about her. He usually masturbated to relieve stress, to feel
good, but thinking about Ivy made it all the more better.

Which is worse: the phrase “all the more better” or the thought that Robin apparently occasionally masturbates for reasons other than relaxing and relieving stress? The only reason I can think off is that sometimes he does it just to give Alfred something to clean up.

He couldn’t
get her out of his system. The way she went about addressing him in such
a dominant manner, how easily she manipulated him, how wonderful it
would be to please her. And oh the pleasures and rewards of such a
venture, not to mention that body of hers with those tits! Robin thought
back to the trance she put him in with only her breasts, he thought
about that image for awhile while touching himself. He couldn’t get her
out of his system, he jerked off at least three times just to the
thought of her. And it was at 2:30 am he booted up his computer to email



I’m not sure what you wanted to get out of me emailing you but here it is.

The truth is Ivy…. I don’t think you’re all that bad, I know you and
the Bat have had some history, but I’m not the Bat, and that’s all in
the past. Quite frankly, you’re all I’ve been able to think about. It’s
become an obsession, I can’t believe I’m even telling you this….  I’ve
never felt this way before. I want to be with you, I want to please
you, I need you. I can’t get you out of my mind!  Please, I need more, I
want more, I will do whatever it takes. When can we meet again?


Oh, Robin. Did “not seeming like a needy twat to women” never come up in your Bat-training?

Sent. STUPID STUPID STUPID. Why did you type that all? You told her you
were obsessed with her? You want to see her tits? What does that mean?
You’ve just met her, you sound like a creeper, fuckkkk. What if Batman
finds out? Great, just great.

How could Batman possibly find out about an email you sent to Poison Ivy, referring to her as Ivy in the body of the email, from his own house? Why, he would have to be THE WORLD’S GREATEST DETECTIVE to uncover that subterfuge– oh. Wait. Never mind.

Robin was about to go to sleep when he heard the “incoming message” sound from his computer. Ivy? At this time of night?

What kind of woman sends emails at 2:30am? Why, if she weren’t already a supervillain who had murdered hundreds of people, I would have lost considerable respect for Poison Ivy!

“Hello my little Robin, 

I knew you’d find my message to you. What the bat doesn’t know won’t
hurt him. Especially what makes him jealous. I’m flattered that you’ve
been thinking about me, and probably my tits too? I bet just thinking
about them gets your little dick hard. 😉

Come to central park tomorrow at dusk where we can continue where we
left off. Leave the Bat behind and this time you can stare for as long
as you like. And if you’re a good little robin you can maybe even suck
on them? You can think of them as mother nature’s bosom 😉

Till then my love. 


PS attached is a little present I made for you. Happy fapping”

Is anyone else oddly enraged that Ivy just used the word “fapping”?

Robin couldn’t believe it. He opened the attachment right away, It was a
picture of her topless. How did she know?


She was playing him like a
fiddle, taking complete advantage of his sexual deprivation. he was hard
within seconds of seeing her picture. He started to masturbate, to her
picture. Her breasts were of perfect size and shape, he stroked his
cock, up and down. And did so for the rest of the night, cumming several
more times before finally passing out. Why was he so obsessed with her? 

Again, a mystery only the world’s greatest detective could possibly solve. Although I still think it might have something to do with her tits.

And why this sudden breast obsession?


Maybe tomorrow he’d find out. He
needed to get her out of his mind, and fast before the bruce finds out.

“The Bruce”? Now I have an image of Bruce Springsteen as Batman, and it’s totally fucking awesome. If nothing else, this FFF has given us that. Now for Chapter 3…

‘What are you gettting dressed up for?’ Bruce asked as he walked by.

Robin paused..

“…. I have a date, sorry I didn’t tell you.” 

“Oh wow, whats her name?”


“Well have fun.” 

Robin’s elaborate subterfuge is a success!

Thank God he didn’t dig further! Robin continued to get ready when he heard Bruce shouting.

“God dammit, let’s go!” 

Robin looked out the window, the batlight was on. Oh great, what about his date with Ivy?

Goddammit, Robin, get on the internet or something. There are plenty of tits there. And fewer than 34% of them belong to evil people.

They started out from the batcave and received word that several mutant
plants were coming to life in the botanical garden and starting to take
over blocks of the city.Perhaps Ivy? What could she be up to?

AN UNKNOWN VILLAIN HAS TAKEN OVER THE BOTANICAL GARDENS?! I’m guessing it’s Two-Face. Because it costs $2 to get into the Botanical Gardens, you see. Totally part of his motif.

Batman and Robin arrived on the scene. The plants had taken positions
and had blocked off eight square city blocks. Batman decided to drive
the batmobile  through to the middle, hoping he could grab the attention
of all the plants at once, and hopefully defeat them quickly before
they took over more of the city. The plants varied from vine-like plants
to plants that emitted immense amounts of deadly pollen to flowers that
looked like roses but with even more deadly thorns. Batman and Robin
took right at it, chopping at one plant while dodging another. It was
intense fighting. The plants surrounded them and although Batman and
Robin always fight back to back, the plants had managed to divide them. 

As he fought, Robin saw something out of the corner of his eye, it was
Bane, and it looked like he was walking towards the botanical garden.
Robin fought his way towards Bane, past the plants and began to chase
Bane. Batman didn’t even notice Robin had begun a foot pursuit, but he
was too occupied with the plants and thorns jabbing at him. 

Robin followed Bane for half a block and then froze in his tracks when
he saw what Bane was running towards. It was Poison Ivy. 

She was directing her plants from what appeared to be her own version
of a lectica. it was a giant rose, and she was lying comfortably inside,
with the rose pedals opening and closing as she required her privacy
and opening as she barked an order. She saw Bane coming and her prey
that followed.

lect?ca (genitive lect?cae); f, first declension

  1. litter, sedan, palanquin.
  2. A portable sofa or couch.

The fuck?

“Good job Bane, you led him right to me.” She had planned on finding
Robin later, after her plants captured him and Batman, but she since she
already had a hold over the Robin she decided to play with her new toy.

“Hello my little Robin, I see you found me.” She sat up so Robin could
see her better, she looked so comfortable and relaxed in her flower, as
if she had had to move in hours, her plants doing her will, she just
relaxed and watched it happen. Robin wondered if that’s how things were
with Ivy all the time, completely relaxed, completely effortless.

Also: The fuck?

“Is this what you call a date? Ivy what are you doing here? These plants can’t be here, this is the city!”

“You can’t bring your plants in here! This is the Botanical Garden, for fuck’s sake!”

Her plants carried her in her giant rose slowly towards him, she saw
him start to freeze up as she got closer. He was nervous! How cute!

“Silly little Robin, what are all these buildings without the
materials, that I, Mother Nature gave to the world? I’m just taking them
back. That’s all.”

She was close enough for him to see her. Her rose turned as she landed
in front of him sideways, that way he could look over her entire body.
Her plants emitting her pheromones all around him, slowing Robin’s
senses. As she got closer she saw Robin’s eye’s widen as he noticed that
she was topless inside of the flower. His gaze was caught on her
breasts, she smirked at how easy this was becoming. Her tits were as
hypnotic to him as a pendant on a chain, he was already in a trance, Ivy
hardly needed to put any effort into this.

Look, I like tits as much as the next guy — possibly more — but this is getting a little absurd.

“Little robin, you look so tired! Why don’t you come lie down with Ivy?
You can look at my tits all you want from up here. Come. Come relax….
with me…”

“No… I…” Her grip over his senses was strong, but not quite strong
enough. She snapped her fingers and the plants around them emitted even
more pheromones, turning Robin’s mind to mush.

Also killing him instantly, because he’d received a previously lethal dose of pheremones last night. Seriously: the fuck?

“Are you sure? You’d be up here with me….. come lay that tired head
of yours down… down on my soft breasts, you know want to.”

Robin stood motionless, oh how badly he wanted that. One of Ivy’s vines
came around and started to push him towards the flower, and he started
to walk towards it. 

“No Ivy, really…” He managed to get out as the vine pushed him forward, he offered no resistance to its will.

Every foot felt like a mile, and Ivy got more attractive with every
inch. He got to the flower, and one of the vines gave him a footing to
get into the flower with Ivy. he started to lie down as ivy guided him
in. She guided his head to land right on her tits.

“See how nice that feels? How comfortable it is to lie down and relax
with Ivy?” She massaged his head as he lie on top of her, he was

“My tits are Seely Posturepedic, Boy Wonder. You’ll never escape from their comfort!”

“Oh Ivy, yess it does…”

“Yes my pet. Just relax, breath in and relaxxxxx” She blew a handful of
pheromone dust at him, it was extremely effective since he was so


You like Ivy’s tit’s don’t you little Robin?” She continued to massage his head and neck.

“Don’t you think you should Friend them on Facebook?”

“Very much….” Why wasn’t he resisting? why was this so relaxing? Why
couldn’t he think? he needed out of this, Batman was going to be here at
any moment! Why was this so wonderful? Her touch was like that of a
goddess, her breasts were softer than a pillow could ever be. Robin
wanted to lie in this position forever.

“Ivy… this is wrong…. I shouldn’t be here. I thought we could talk…” He was trying to break free.

She ignored his plea.

“You know you can play with them if you want little Robbie. Go ahead,
give them a good lick while you’re at it” Without hesitation, he did as
he was told. One lick, then another, and before he knew it, his tongue
was all over her chest.

“That’s right love, kiss them too.”

He immediately obeyed, kissing and licking, he didn’t know why he found this so pleasing but he did.

Because TITS, Robin. This is not a mystery of the fucking ages.

“But seriously Ivy..” He stumbled over his words as he was still trying to break free.

Ignored again.

“Now my little robbie, I want you to suck on them.”

He started sucking on the left, and then switched to the right. 

Now… that’s just good writing.

“Yes, suck on Ivy’s tits! Suck on them, worship me, your mistress, Ivy!”

Robin kept licking and sucking on them as she mocked him. He couldn’t
get enough of them, he had fantasized all night about this and how
finally it had become true.

“You know I know a boy with submissive, mommy issues when I see one.
You just can’t resist an older, attractive, dominant woman like me. You
can’t resist my tits, they suck you in begging you to suck on them. And
now that you are finally sucking on them, they’re sucking at your mind,
making you obsess about them, an obsession that will make you mine.”

That’s… that’s a lot of sucking. Humorously, there’s a whole ‘nother level of sucking going on here that neither Ivy nor Robin seem to be aware off.

She was right, Robin had an attraction to older women, especially
dominant MILF’s. He did what the Bat told him, and no more. He was a
submissive male, and Ivy filled the void that was robin’s sex life.
Robin continued to suck on her tits as she gave him the speech.

The transformation of the word “MILF” from meaning “Mom I’d Like to Fuck” to “Any sexy woman over the age of 30 regardless of whether or not she has kids” aggravates me. I’m not sure why.

“That’s right wittle wobbie, suck on Ivy’s tits, suck suck suck! keep
it up, such a good little robin! You know you wanted them, now get your
money’s worth. Let my tits overtake you, let Ivy in, into your mind and
body. Suck. Suck Suck.”

“Suck! Suck suck. Suck suck suck? Sucksucksucksuck suck.”

Robin took the mocking and kept playing with her tits. Kissing,
licking, sucking. Massaging her tits, playing with one as he sucked on
the other, he was powerless to resist. She had full control and all he
could do was obey. The sucking had done him in, any doubt in his mind
had washed away, he wanted this to happen, and no training from the Bat
could help him resist.

All that “Resist Big Tits” training Batman put him through has failed him.

“Yess ivy… ” he barely got out.

“Keep going, suck suck suck on Ivy’s tits!”

We… we got it. You want Robin to suck your tits. This has become clear to us. No need to keep repeating it. Settle down.

“I want more please.” he whispered.

“What was that little robbie?”

“I want more please.” He said.

Robin, all she’s done for the last five minutes is demand you suck. You don’t have to stop and ask permission when she’s in the middle of continually giving it, you moron.

“No! It’s: ‘I want more Mistress Ivy.’ Say it!”

“I want more…. Mistress Ivy” he blurted out, Robin was surprised he even said it.

“Go ahead my wittle wobbie, suck away.And just remember, the more you suck, the more of you I take away”

He didn’t care, she could have him as far as he was concerned. Robin’s
sucking intensified. His kissing and licking was that  of a horny
teenager, he had lost control of himself. HIs fantasy had come true and
he took complete advantage of it. Little did he know that she wasn’t
actually bluffing, with every lick Ivy’s hold over him got tighter. She
had put a special plant extract on her breasts before this little
encounter, her tits were literally addictive. 

REALLY? This is unclear to Robin? “Well, I no longer have any control over myself. Poison Ivy has continually told me that by licking her breasts, she gains more control over me, and that clearly seems to be the case. However, I’m sure she’s bluffing and there’s actually no problem whatsoever. I’ll think about it in about three hours or so.” ssssslllluurrrrrpppp

Somewhere, Batman is crying and he doesn’t know why.

“Oh yes little robin! Suck on Ivy’s tits! suck suck suck!”

Robin kept at it, “yes Ivy” he moaned.


Plants all around them started moving and running towards the street. The Bat had made his way further in, looking for Robin. 

“Well little my little robin, it looks like our first date will have to be cute short….”

Ivy practically had to push Robin away as she forced him off the side
of the flower. “Till next time my pet.” She smirked and her plants
quickly carried her away.

Robin was kicked out of his trance, what had just happened? Why did he
have a sudden urge to chase after her?

Again, I’m going to go out on a limp here, but maybe it’s all the TITS.

These urges to be with Ivy were
warping his thoughts. He stood in the street in complete confusion until he saw Batman. He
joined in the fighting to help Batman, but his mind was elsewhere. Why
did he have a sudden urge to suck on some breasts?



Ivy’s breasts… His
mind wandered in and out as the fighting continued, until he and the Bat
had to retreat, to regroup.

And to wonder why, possibly, he could want to suck Poison Ivy’s breasts after sucking Poison Ivy’s breasts for the better part of half an hour. Chapter 4!

Robin got back from fighting Ivy’s plants and was completely destroyed.
Both physically and mentally, the plants were too much for Batman and
Robin to handle, and Robin’s encounter with Ivy left him confused,
aroused, and ashamed.

We’ve all been there.

He took a shower and tried to wash away the guilt
and shame that he had all over his body. He had done bad, terrible
things with the enemy. If Batman ever found out, he would be disowned by
him. Bruce was worth more to him than any broad every was. And yet…
he still wanted her.

“Broad”? Really?

Robin! Get ahold of yourself, yes she’s attractive, yes she has
breasts. All women do! you’ll find another, just get her out of your
mind. Do you want to address someone as mistress for the rest of your
life? Robin had thought, how sick this situation really was, he sucked
on her tits for at least twenty minutes, she was the enemy. She was
crazy, and he let her get to close. It’s time to end this he decided.

He booted up his computer and started an email.



About what happened today, I hope you don’t take offense, but I hope we
can just forget what happened and move on. I don’t actually want to be
your pet, don’t get me wrong, you are very attractive, but I think you
need some serious help. Seriously.

If you truly care about me, just turn yourself in and we can get you
the help you need. And then maybe then we can see each other, under a
more controlled environment, where your plants aren’t taking hostages
and destroying cities.


Okay. I can kind of accept the premise of this fan fiction that Poison Ivy has addictive tits and is using them to seduce Robin. But Robin’s emails to Ivy are so fucking ridiculous I can barely stand it.

There. It was done. But although Robin thought he would feel an 8-ton
weight lift off his chest, he didn’t. Was this still guilt that he
needed to tell Bruce about? Or…



Did he feel bad about what he just said? Did Robin actually care about
Ivy? Did Robin actually like what she was doing to him? Or was he just
under her control?

Or did he… did he… LIKE HER TITS?! We may never know.

Before he could decide his computer lit up, “1 new message” He read it right away.

“My little Robbie,

I don’t think I quite understand your email. Why would you want to
forget about what happened? Afterall, you were the one that screamed
“Mistress Ivy, I want more!” Perhaps you’re the one who needs the help?

It’s okay though, my wittle wobbie, Ivy is here. I know you’re scared
about the big bat finding out, but don’t you worry. Poison Ivy will take
care of that. 

Until then, I just want you to think about how much you enjoyed your
little ‘adventure’ in the park today. Remember how relaxing and
wonderful it was to lie with Ivy in the flower? And how wonderful it was
to suck on her tits as much as you wanted. Now you wouldn’t want to
give that up now would you? Because I know just how much you liked it.
You’re so cute robin, thinking people will find out about your little
fetish, it will be okay, I promise. And even if the Bat DID find out,
you know sucking on my tits is worth it 😉


Mistress Ivy

-PS. If this letter doesn’t convince you, I hope this video will.”

Her letter was so reassuring, she spoke with such arrogance, Robin was
turned on again. Her dominance over him was what turned him on the most,
he felt the need to obey her, she was in control, she made the
decisions, all he wanted to do was please her. The thoughts of this
afternoon passing through his head again. He did enjoy himself he
thought, maybe this was okay. She said she was going to take care of the
Bat too, maybe this can work out. This is normal, isn’t it?

He opened the video to see what she had sent. It was a video of this
afternoon. How did she tape that?


It was really close and of a high
quality too, Robin relived the entire scene as he watched. He wanted her
tits more now than ever before, he wanted her, he wanted to obey every
word that came out of her mouth, and who cares if the Bat finds out. He
needed her, badly. He started to jerk off to the video. And jerked off
again. And again. Her hold over him was a powerful one.

I know plenty of people tape themselves fucking, but does the idea of masturbating to a video of yourself doing nothing but suckling at some woman’s teat for 20 minutes strike anyone else as really goddamned freaky?

He started to type:


I think you’re right. It will be okay, you’re so re-assuring. I just
get scared sometimes, I’m glad I have you to help me through this.

I think ‘this’ is okay too. Because….


I guess..


I need it. I need it so bad. All I can think about is being with you,
sucking on your tits, licking, kissing, relaxing, sucking. I need you
Mistress Ivy. I want it so bad. Please, please, when can meet again? I
need more, I need you. Ivy, please. Please. I’m begging you, I’ll do
whatever you want. I will be your slave, your pet, just please, let me
suck on those tits again. I need them, I want them, I’m willing to obey
your every word, your every command. I don’t care if the Bat finds out, I
just want to be with you. Please.

-Your little Robin”

You know, this is just like Death in the Family, except instead of Joker beating Robin to death with a crowbar, Poison Ivy has defeated him with softcore internet pornography.

FUCKKK why did you just send that? Jesus Christ you have a problem robin. Get fucking rid of her, she’s crazy!

In Robin’s defense, I’ve sent equally regrettable emails to equally crazy girls. Never got any dirty videos, though. Advantage: Robin.

And within seconds a response:

“My wittle robbie,

Of course it’ll be okay, don’t worry, Ivy has is all taken care of. 

Meet me at the park tomorrow where we can pick up where we left off. Mistress has a surprise for her wittle robbie!


Is it her tits? I bet it’s her tits.

YES! Can’t wait! Err… what was going to happen now? Whatever it was,
Robin could not wait. He watched the video over and over again, stroking
up and down, thinking of Ivy. Thinking of how pleasant everything about
her was, how graceful she was with her plants, so relaxed, so dominant.
He wanted to please her, he wanted a taste of paradise, to be with her.
There was no getting her out of his system. Who could save him from her
slavery? Batman? Robin could only wish.

Perhaps someone with bigger tits? Just a hunch. Anyways, on to Chapter 5!

Robin arrived at central park early, really early. He had to leave
Wayne Manor undetected and the only way to do so was to leave almost two
hours early. So there he was waiting, thinking, fantasizing. Ivy was
all he could think about, and when dusk came he could hardly contain his
excitement. Moments later, he spotted her. The central park had some
trees, but this was a sight to see, All sorts of plants started  popping
out of the ground. Flowers, vines, and full trees, and soon enough
central park was a small forest. Her plants spotted Robin and started to
make a clearing, a path for him to approach her. About thirty yards
away from Robin, sprouted a giant venus fly trap, straight out of the
ground. The plants around them filled in to make the forest extremely
thick, minimizing any outside interruptions. The giant plant opened, and
inside there she was, Poison Ivy.

The plant itself was a sight to see, it was huge. The inside was
lined with a sort of pink colored fur, and it was about the size of a
king sized bed. It looked extremely comfortable, as if you could lie
down on the fur and sleep and relax for days without realizing it. And
that was the mood Ivy wanted to set, a relaxed one. Her plants started
to emit a special pheromone, it was her usual but with something to slow
down robin’s senses, both physically and mentally.

Because Robin’s really at the top of his game right now. She needs that extra edge. IF ONLY SHE HAD SOME KIND OF LARGE MAMMARIES TO HELP SEDUCE HIM WITH.

He started to approach her, she looked amazing, as expected. She was
lying down in the plant when it opened, she leaned up, and stretched,
as if she had been in the most relaxing position moments before. She
smirked, “Hello my love”. Her long red hair naturally flowed down over
her body, she was wearing a pink fur coat, an odd choice for Ivy, but it
contrasted with her green plants, and her red hair perfectly. Not to
mention extremely soft, as Robin was about to find out. She opened up
her coat to reveal her nearly nude body, a few leaves to cover up her
vagina and some leaves around where the outline of her bra should be,
leaving her tits completely exposed, making Robin wonder why she even
bothered with wearing those leaves to begin with. A tease to toy with
his mind more than likely.

Anyone else think that hanging out inside a giant venus flytrap with a pink fur coat on is a little weird, even for Ivy?

He started to approach her, he found it extremely hard to walk, each
step felt like a mile. Ivy signaled to her plants. They came at him,
“Don’t worry, they won’t bite.” The plants grabbed a hold of his
clothes, tearing them off bit by bit, until there was nothing left.
Robin was completely naked, as he kept making his way toward her he
looked up at her. She smirked, she let him look her over. “Like what you
see? ha ha!” Robin continued to struggle, he felt so very weak, he
dropped to his knees and began to crawl. His desire to be with Ivy was
strong, he was out of breath trying to get to her, the more he breathed
in, the more of her pheromones he took in, the more he slowed. He
crawled that last ten feet to finally reach Ivy, well worth it.

He felt the soft fur against his body as he got into the fly trap,
it was very erotic. He got in and sat down, he was immediately put into
Ivy’s trance as he stared at her. “Common little robbie, you act like
you’ve never seen these before!” Robin was speechless, he hadn’t been
able to say a word to her this entire time. He was frozen, couldn’t even
think, couldn’t even react. All he could do was stare, stare at her
tits. They seemed to be even bigger than he remembered, oh how he longed
for them.

“Ivy….” he mumbled, it was all he was able to get out.  Ivy giggled at how nervous he was.

“Here, let me help.” She grabbed his right hand, her touch was soft,
yet dominating. She guided his hand towards her left breast. His face
light up with excitement, he was touching Poison Ivy’s breast. Ivy
grinned at this sight. She took his other hand and guided it towards her
other breast. He started to massage her tits, playing with them.

No matter how tired they get, men always save a little energy in case of breasts.

“That’s better huh?” Ivy smirked at how easy and pathetic he was.

“Can….Can…can I suck on them?” he begged.

“Who?” Ivy responded.

Robin was reluctant at first but her control over him took hold, “Mistress Ivy….can I suck on them?”

“Of course my wittle wwobbieee.”

Although I am, of course, intensely skeeved out about a lengthy fan fic involved nothing but Robin sucking on Poison Ivy’s tits — as well as the fur fetish that will show up shortly — it’s the use of the word “wwobbieee” that makes me want to beat this author to death. Seriously.

Ivy slid her hands up against the sides of his head and started to
guide his head towards her. She leaned back a bit and guided him towards
her breasts. Robin’s head landed right inbetween them, they were so
soft, he could smell her perfume, it was paradise. He started to kiss
them, then he started to suck on them, enjoying every second of it as he
had before. He’d suck one until milk almost came out, and then would
switch to the other. He’d play with one with his hands while he sucked
on the other.

Chance that Poison Ivy had a child in the world of this fan fic and the word “MILF” was previously used correctly: 3%

Chance that the author assumes every women with big tits is lactating all the time: 97%

Ivy massaged his head as he went at it, it was all so
relaxing. The venus fly trap closed, ‘trapping’ them inside, Robin could
feel the fur from the top of the trap hit his back side, it felt so
soft. So relaxing ,so wonderful to be here with Ivy, and her tits. Her
tits were even larger than they were last time, robin noticed but didn’t
say anything, it was more ground for him to cover. Her breasts were
just as addictive as before, with each kiss, and each lick tightened
Ivy’s control over robin.

I should point out that the in the story, Poison Ivy’s breasts are indeed growing larger. In fact, the author has periodically inserted links to pictures of women with increasingly large breasts, so that readers can see how big they’re supposed to be in each scene. None of these links are to Poison Ivy, Uma Thurman or any comic art at all. Just random women. Also, they’re all clothed, for some reason, as if inserting pictures of naked women into his erotic fan fic would be inappropriate somehow. This cracks me the fuck up.

“Suck suck suck my little robbie!”

“Yess” he mumbled as he started to furiously suck and lick on them.

Oh, good. I loved that last scene so much, I’m so happy to have another one.

“You like sucking on Ivy’s tits don’t you! you love it!”

“Yess mistresssss….” his sucking and licking intensified. He needed more. And even when he got more, he wanted more.

“Suck suck suck!” she said to him, talking to him as if he was a toddler.

Please note: If you have ever told a toddler to “Suck suck suck!” in any context, please go immediately to jail and turn yourself in.

“I need..” he barely got out.

‘More? Of course you do. Keep at it little robbie. suck suck suck!”

“Yess” he whimpered. His sucking intensified. He was breathing hard,
he couldn’t keep up, sucking on one, playing with the other, licking
all over Ivy’s tits, the soft fur over his body, Ivy’s soft gentle hands
massaging his head and neck. He felt weak, his senses slowed, his
thoughts clouded with lust and urge to continue, and so he did. He put
all he could into it, into sucking, licking, and sucking and licking. 

“Suck suck suck!”

Well, we can’t blame the author for being inconsistent.

“Mistress….” Robin collapsed onto Ivy, his landing inbetween her
tits.. he couldn’t suck anymore, he was exhausted, he had been at it for
about hour. He wanted more but couldn’t find the energy to. Ivy
giggled, how pathetic her little pet was, how easy this was turning out
to be, her plant extracts on her breasts were doing their jobs. Robin
was building up a dependence for them, fairly soon he’d be lost without
Ivy or her tits.

Robin is too tired to suck. This is happening.

“Keep sucking on those tits, pet. Ivy is about to get your surprise!”

“But…” he said inbetween pants.

“Now, now wittle wobbie, do what Ivy says… suck suck suck!” Ridiculing him even more.

Robin somehow found the strength to start again. He had just started
to suck on Ivy’s tits when she put on her pink fur glove, her special
surprise. She grabbed his cock and started to stroke it as he sucked on
her tits. Robin was caught by surprise, he moaned. “Let it happen….”
she said “Let ivy guide you.”  She started to pump his shaft with the
fur glove, it was like nothing Robin had ever felt before, to be touched
by a goddess in such a way, it was paradise.

“Keep sucking…Remember, the more you suck, the more you want to
suck, the more you suck the more I take from your little mind.”

That’s Nietzsche, right?

“yessss” robin whispered.

The fur glided up and down his shaft.

“Suck suck suck!”

Up and down. up and down.

“Keep it up, suck on ivy’s tits! Good little robbie!”

Up and down, up and down.

“Suck, lick, suck!”

“Sorry, I sucked sucked sucked! I didn’t think you were going throw a lick in there suddenly!”

Up and down, the fur felt like paradise going up and down his cock.

“Submit to Ivy, worship me. You need me. You need this. you want this.”

“Yes mistress” robin whimpered, he couldn’t contain himself.

“Your orgasm will be a sign of your submission to me, you
dependence on me, your need to obey, your need to please me.” Her
stroking slowed, teasing him now. Robin barely sucking on her tits,
focusing on containing his orgasm.

“C’mon, Boy Wonder! Suck like you mean it!”

“Now let go for Ivy!”

 “Ivyy…” he moaned as he orgasmed. He cummed like he had
never cummed before, Ivy’s plants there to clean up the mess, he
collapsed onto Ivy, and just laid there. His head inbetween her’s tits
which seemed to just keep getting bigger, now about a DD-cup in size,
the fur so soft around him, massaging and carressing Robin’s skin, the
scent of Ivy’s perfume, the orgasm that seemed to never end, Ivy
continued to massage his head, running her hands through his hair,
teasing her pet. It was a combination of complete relaxation with
extreme arousal. 

“Does little robbie like it when Ivy rubs his cock with the fur glove?”

“Yess” he got out, spent from his orgasm.

“Do you want some more?”

“Yesss pleaseee”

“Yes please?

“What are you, deaf? I said give me another glove-job, lady.”

“Yes please mistress ivy…” Robin said in defeat. Ivy had won this
battle. Robin could do nothing but suck on her tits and call her
“mistress”. And the best part was that he enjoyed it, he wanted it, he
wanted more and more, and Ivy would gladly provide it. Everything felt
so right, to be here with Ivy, under her control, pleasing her. Robin
wanted to keep playing this game, he wanted to suck on her tits and do
her will. He liked her dominating his life, he wanted to please her, he
wanted to do what Ivy said. It didn’t even click in his mind that this
was ‘wrong’. Ivy was no longer ‘evil’, she was in fact, his master, in a
nice motherly yet strict dominatrix type of way, and he wanted to be
her ‘little robbie’.

I get the feeling that the author has though about this scenario very, very carefully.

Ivy put her hands through his hair as he lay on her, massaging his head, teasing him as he tried to catch his breath.

“My little robbie… my little pet… all mine… so obedient….
such a good boy, you love your mistress don’t you. You need her, you
need Ivy, the dominant figure you never had, the motherly figure, you
never had. The mother the bat could never be. I can be as sweet as candy
if you do what I say, and listen to my commands. Or I can be a strict
mistress if you disobey me, you decide. You like being my little boy
don’t you? You like being Ivy’s little bitch don’t you? Want to suck on
Ivy’s tits some more? Want to worship me? Want to please me?”

He moved his head up to start sucking on her tits some more, he
couldn’t get enough of them. He knew he liked breasts, but had never
realized just how much until he met Ivy. Ivy grabbed his cock again
and began to stroke it with her fur glove. Robin cummed again, and
collapsed onto Ivy’s tits. 

“Worship your mistress. Suck on them!” “You need them!” “Suck on
them you little pussy!” “Suck on them bitch!” “Shout my name as you
orgasm! MISTRESS IVY! Say it!” “Suck on mommy’s tits, come on now little
robbie. Suck suck suck!” “Shout it out, “I’m Ivy’s little boy, I’m her
bitch, I will worship and obey!” “You’re a needy little bitch, worship
me!” For hours she taunted him as he sucked and as she stroked. Robin
did as she commanded.

Holy shit that’s a lot of sucking. Even my nipples are starting to hurt, and I’m just reading the damn thing.

Again and again this process continued. Robin had no sense of time,
he had been with Ivy for four days. Ivy was well aware of her what was
going on, she was just enjoying it all too much to tell Robin otherwise.
Occasionally she’d let her plants sneak in pleasure her so she could
orgasm at the same time as Robin. Robin was in paradise, and there was
nothing stopping him from keeping this up forever. Sucking her tits, her
giving him a handjob, the fur, the breasts, the smell, how relaxed it
was, it was like ecstasy and Robin wanted all he could of it. No one
knew where he was, no one would come looking for him. No one except

…yeah. So you may have gathered that this story is about Robin 1) sucking on Poison Ivy’s tits and 2) getting handjobs from her while she wears a fur-lined glove. This is correct. I know because I’ve ready Chapters 6-14, AND THAT’S STILL PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY THING THAT HAPPENS. It’s insane. Here’s a few gems from the next 9 chapters, though:

“Would you fight anyone who threatened your mistress? or her tits?”  


“Would you KILL anyone who threatened Ivy or her wonderful tits?”


“When you see my tits, you bend to their will. My will, and that turns
you on. Being under my control turns you on. Being under my tits control
turns you on.”


Batman looked over his shoulder to see where Robin had gone. The look
on his face when he saw where Robin had landed, Ivy had waited years to
see. She smirked. 
“ROBIN!!!” Batman shouted.

Robin looked up from his work to see. Batman gave him a dirty look.


“Sucking on mommy’s tits..”


“ROBIN, JESUS CHIRST, GET OVER HERE!” batman still struggling, still trying to save robin.


“I am able to provide to little robbie here the love and nourishment
that you could never give. He needs a mother, not a single gay father
like yourself. And what a better mother to have than mother nature


Batman could only watch in horror as Robin sucked on Ivy’s tits and got a hand job.


Bruce looked through Robin’s room for some clues.

Nothing too surprising until he looked on Robin’s computer. His email
was still up, several of them between him and “Green Lady 295-62”, Ivy.
Damn, she had been emailing him this entire time,


Eventually, Bruce watches Poison Ivy’s video to Robin and gets equally hypnotized, even jerking off with a — wait for it — fur glove.

Bruce knew he couldn’t go into the city again, so he got on Robin’s computer. 


Your reign of terror has come to an end. Your plants are going to put
to death by modern day pesticides and you will be going to jail. You’re
laughing at this, I’m sure. Just remember, This is my city. I always
have the last laugh bitch.

Now here’s what we’re going to do. 

1. Robin gets returned to me, unharmed.

2. You will vacate city hall, and go back to the botanical garden with your plants.

3. Once the first two are complete, you get me.


Batman was stroking his cock with a fur glove has he typed it. He
nearly orgasmed when he told her he’d give in to her. He had it bad,
this plan was never going to work, and he knew it. But it was his only


I knew this day would someday come. I always knew you’d be mine. Had I
known this was how it would have all come together, I would have taken
your little robin years ago. 

Meet us downtown again, I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding us.

-Mistress Ivy

Ps, have fun stroking”

She attached a video of robin sucking on her tits and getting a
handjob. Batman was both jealous and aroused. He jerked off to her one
last time and then got ready.

Batman finds her, immediately heads for Ivy’s tits, and then Robin gets jealous and they fight. Ivy has a brilliant idea.

“Mommy has two tits, you boys have one cock each….We can make this work I think. Come to ivy.”

And finally, we get to Chapter 15. where Ivy decides to have Robin fuck Batman while Batman, of course, sucks on her tits. Batman is freaked out by this, but Ivy’s “addictive breasts” win out, and Robin at least gives him a reach-around. The story finally ends with Batman and Robin as Poison Ivy’s eternal suck-slaves. I’ll skip it, because this FFF is already horrendous long and late, but if you want to read the whole epic in its entirety, head here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get rid of every house plant in my apartment and put some kind of protective bandage over my nipples. Just in case.

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