Comics, Nerdery

Fan Fiction Friday: Wonder Woman and Batman in “Wonder Woman Vs. Superman”



?There is no typo in the article title. This is a fan fic by lilguy, titled “Wonder Woman Vs. Superman,” but starring Wonder Woman and Batman. Superman does not show up in the fan fic at all. In fact, he’s never even mentioned. This should be a very clear indication of what you should expect from this week’s FFF installment. Yes, it is tame in terms of sex, but in terms of writing? It’s delightfully depraved.

Wonder Woman knew she had to confront Batman. They had been falling in love
with each other. She had been dating him for a while and was concern about his
behavior. Batman was going down a darker path. It was darker then normal. It
was self destructive. So she went to the fates. She saw that Batman was going.
They told her there were two paths. One Path if he went down him self would
lead to destruction. The other path he would be a hero and cured of his ills.
The problem with that path is he had to be lead.

What? “He had to be lead”? Does that mean he had to lead as in be a leader? Does that mean he needs to be made out of lead the material? Or does the author just mean “laid?” I think we all know the answer. Join me after the jump, won’t you?

She would do it. She would have to break him then. It will be difficult. He is
stubborn and she may have to get pretty rough.

She may have to get pretty nude. Just a guess.

It was for his own good so she
wouldn’t hold back. She would challenge him to something the Amazon call the

Good to know that Amazons like to name things as uncreatively as most Hollywood screenwriters. Although if this “dance” involves the Bat-usi, I think Wonder Woman is in for quite a surprise.

When the women in the Amazon got married they would do a ritual.

Tell Fox News so they’d freak out?

It was
a fighting match that involves sexual domination and physical domination. The
person who wins would be the dominant person in the relationship for then on.
They would be the others property.

Legal gay marriage and sexual slavery? These Amazons are certainly progressive.

It wasn’t done often but it was a sacred
ceremony. You had to break them in every way so you can build them back up.

So like a regular marriage, then.

She knew Batman would take the challenge. She knew that he wouldn’t turn down
a change for control.

Wonder Woman told him and he agreed. He said he wanted
it date 3 days from then. Wonder Woman knew him well. He would have tricks but
she would be prepared. Only rule it would be between the two of them.

That seems like a good rule, since the “Dance” defines their entire physical and emotional relationship. It would seem a bit awkward if Gary Busey could fight in it for one of them.

They face each other in the JLA satellite base. The gym area had special soft
padded floor that can’t withstand untold damage including gun fire.

I guess the “special soft
padded floor that can withstand untold damage including gun fire” was sold out that day.

Woman was dress in her normal outfit showing her long legs and flowing black
locks. She looked beautiful. She was even more fit then before and towered
over Batman. Sometime men needed to be reminded that she was a goddess. Her
breasts were heaving under her armor and she had her lasso. Batman had his
back of tricks but Wonder Woman has his.

Why are all the pronouns and tenses are so fucked up? Is this the world’s worst Mad Libs or something?

“Remember you agreed to this.” Wonder Woman said

Batman had his cowl and stood with it flowing.


?His flowing cowl. Got it.

“Lets begin” Batman said

“Lets” Wonder Woman said

Batman didn’t let her finish as special Bat wings were flying that shot little
Uzis and exploded on impact.

Although they are both ludicrous and utterly un-Batman-like, you have to admit Batarangs that shoot tiny uzis sound totally fucking awesome.

They home to her heat signature. Wonder Woman
blocked it with her bracelets and made them explode. Wonder Woman took them
out faster then Batman thought. She grabs one and hit it against the wall to
ricochet and hit the other down. This was when Batman cut on a sound device
that sends a sound wave that had a special frequency that hurt her ears. It
was a distraction but Wonder Woman had on of her own. He put on some goggle
and flashes a light on her belt blinding her a bit.

toht face melting.jpg

?Not because the content is perverse, but because that’s what happens when I try to understand what in fuck is going on in that paragraph.

Batman came at her with a staff. It was a staff bless with magic. He had paid
millions for it. Wonder Woman smile fighting the sound and focusing on Batman
foot steps. She dropped her armor revealing her naked body accepts for her
boots. Her pussy was dripping wet and her big breast stood out in pride.

The other breast was feeling unwell, and had decided to stay home that day.

Seeing this Amazon tower over him like this stunned even Batman. This was
enough time to get her vision back. She grabbed him by his neck and held him
up with one hand. He got a bird eye view of her breast.

Assuming the bird was eye-level, directly in front of Wonder Woman, I guess.

She smiles a sexy
smile and licked her lips. Wonder cracked the staff with her bare hand.

“Dammit! That ebay seller swore that staff was made from an authentic Hogwarts broomstick!”

did something he didn’t expect.

She put her clothes back on?

She kissed him. She grabbed him deep into her arm and shoved her tongue in his
mouth. She explored his mouth and felt his ass. Her hand slipped down his
pants and squeezed her ass hard enough to leave finger prints.


?Well. If a woman reached into my pants and managed to squeeze her own ass… I certainly wouldn’t expect that either, Batman, so don’t feel bad. Either Wonder Woman has a new superpower I don’t know about, or she’s got about a million “You so fat” jokes coming her way.

He got hard.

“God, I love it when she squeezes her own ass in my pants! So hot! So confusing, but also hot!”

never been handled like this but he tried not to show in. He punches her chest
but it only hurt his hands.

Either Batman’s hands are preposterously weak or Wonder Woman’s tits are rock hard. Either way, I don’t want to think about it.

She held his arms to stop from him using pressure
points while she uses some of her own with her fingers. Wave of pleasure shot
through his body as his arms went weak. He came just by her fingers.

So when you say Wonder Woman assaulted his pressure points, you really just mean “gave Batman a handjob.” Got it.

Woman slid her hands down and took off the belt. She knew it would shoot her
with an electric pulse but she fought it. She chucked it across the room and
stripped him. The sight of Wonder Woman kept him hard.

Wonder Woman held him down. He tried to fight it but Wonder Woman was to
strong. She had him naked and places a foot on his chest. Batman tried to get
up but couldn’t. He was maskless and under her foot. She could tell he was
trying to think of something. He was trying to think of a plan. Wonder Woman
smiled and fingers her clit in front of them. The nastiness of it surprises

The one thing Batman is not prepared for, apparently.

The beauty of it surprises him more.

Okay, the second thing.

“Give up Bruce. Time to let things go.” Wonder Woman said

“Never and the name is BATMAN!!!!”

“I’ll never give up! You’ll just have to stand on me and masturbate all day!”

She shook her head

“Very well Bruce. Your force me to take desperate measures.” Wonder Woman said

/cue porn music

She got down and turns him around. His body was well cut. Wonder Woman had to
admit. She touches and squeezes his but some more.

Thumbnail image for picard-facepalm.jpg


She was enjoying this. She
stretches him and put her knee against her back bending in.

Thumbnail image for picard-facepalm.jpg


She lies on her
back and push her knee deeper as she pushed her knee into his back and stretch
his arms. He screamed in pain and was helpless. She smiled and put his wrist
together so she could pull his arms with on hand as she relaxes. Wonder had
made sure there were mirrors on the ceiling so he could see this.

When did this turn into a porn version of Knightfall?

“Give up.” Wonder Woman said

“Never … Aaaaaaaaaaaaa”

She played with her self bringing herself to orgasm.

You know, I’d like to see the rules and regulations of this Amazonian mating ritual, because I’m pretty sure Wonder Woman is making it up as she goes along.

The sight turns Batman
on. He couldn’t believe he was getting excited by this.

“Go ahead! Keep masturbating in front of me! I’ll never quit, even if you start playing with your tits more! And lick your lips a little.”

It was frustrating but
he wouldn’t give up. She kept him there for a half and hour.

She dropped him to the ground

“Maybe you think I will show mercy. What you don’t understand is this out of
Love. What I am doing is the greatest mercy. You may think if I keep this up
she will hold back or break down and stop what she doing. Well it time for me
to show your wrong.” She said

Sadly, I’ve had a few relationship like this. With less aggressive masturbation, admittedly.

She picked up by his hair and gave him a few slaps. Then she had him in a
vicious bear hug. She squeezed and he felt his ribs crack as he screamed in

“Shah” She said and kissed.

“The shah of Iran? What are you doing here?!” Wonder Woman seemingly exclaimed.

His cock was being rubbed against her abs. Her sweat made it slide down with
ease. He let out a moan and came.

And the third thing Batman is not apparently prepared for: premature ejaculation.

The mixture of pain and intense pleasure was
amazing. Wonder Woman smiled and kiss him some more. It was hard to stay
focused. She put him back over her shoulder and bent it over her shoulder in a
back breaker. She walked around calmly holding him like this. His back had all
ready been bent before by her first move. He cried in pain. She sat on the
floor and just meditated in that position.

“I can wait like this forever.” Wonder Woman said

“So can I! I just hope you don’t call Power Girl over and you two start making out, because I’d never be able to resist that! So please don’t start any girl-on-girl action! I have her number in my Bat-phone, if you want it.”

Half and hour pass

“I give up.” He whispered

“What was that?” She said adding pressure.

“Arrrrrrrrrrg I GIVE UP!!!”

“Don’t think it that sincere.” She said

She held in that position again. And hour passes.

“So… are you going to start masturbating again? It’s fine if you aren’t, I was just… I was just wondering. I mean, you can if you want to.”

“Do you give” Wonder Woman said



“Because it nothing I can do to stop you.”

Thumbnail image for picard-facepalm.jpg


She smiled

“Good that the first step.”

His arms and back was weak now. His chest was nearly broken. His face stung
from the slaps. She sat on his back and pulled his legs and felt a snapping.

“Do you submit” Wonder Woman said

“Yes … stop”

Call me crazy, but it seems like the second step seems like it’s pretty much the same thing as the first step.

She pulled some more making him feel the pain till she was satisfied. She
stops and held him in a headlock. His face turns blue. He tried to stay up.

“Let it go Bruce” She said rubbing his hair

…which is also the same thing as the third step. I’m sensing a pattern here.

His arms went weak and he passed out. Her foot was on his chest. He looked up
and truly saw what a goddess she was.

“Do you give up?” Wonder Woman said.

“Yes. YES!!!”


Part of him felt free finally saying something like that to anyone. She
mounted him. She was taking her prize.  Wonder Woman took him inside her and
rode him. Her pussy squeezes and milked him. She put her head back and let her
hair flow.

Her hair was long and black, and flowed in the wind like a cowl.

She was getting into the power and fucked him like a woman possed.
She let our intense orgasim as his body was crumbled under his own intense
multiple orgasm.

Double facepalm 2.jpg

Even three centuries from now, people will still be mesmerized at the stupidity of the above two sentences.

Each one bigger then anything he ever had before.

Even a car.

“Do you Yield.” Wonder Woman said


“Yes what”

“Yes my Queen”

“Good” Wonder Woman said

Year Later

Gotham City

The City crime was down to almost nothing. Gotham been clean up. Arkham had
taking up new technique in mental health that uses the Amazon technique of

Does it involve Amazons masturbating in front of criminals? Because I’d pretty sure that would raise the crime rate significantly.

For the first time in a long while the mental ward was curing
people. Most of main villains were reform. Some of the technique was a tad
controversial but it worked.

What’s so controversial about putting criminals in professional wrestling submission hold while naked? TELL ME WHERE IN THE CONSTITUTION IS SAYS WE CAN’T GET NAKED AND PUT BAD GUYS IN BACKBREAKERS, SIR

The city was cleaner and their were more social
system in place that made the city the top tourist city and voted the best
city to live in.

All thanks to Wonder Woman’s vagina! Apparently!

It was all thanks to the heroes Wonder Woman and the new Wonder Boy.


In the
top of Wayne Towers Wonder Woman sat on her chair. Bruce Wayne Aka Wonder Boy
was on his knees as all ways. It was a position he was happy to take. Wonder
woman smiled as he ate her out.

She should of done this a long time ago she thought.

The End. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to stage a battle between Superman and a bottle of bourbon, and much like this story, Superman won’t be making an appearance either.

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