?Joe Dante’s Gremlins and Gremlins 2: The New Batch couldn’t be more different films. While it would be fair to label the first installment as a horror comedy, its sequel is an absurd odyssey that has rightfully been deemed as the closest thing we’ll ever get to a live-action Looney Tunes movie. Both of the flicks have their merits, but one thing they share equally is some truly stellar creature design. The Mogwai and Gremlins were initially conceived by Chris Walas (who later went on to do even more impressive special effects work on the 1986 remake of The Fly). When he proved unavailable when the sequel rolled around, legendary make-up man/all around genius Rick Baker was coerced into taking over the design work. Baker gave the Gremlins saga an injection of creativity that still continues to inspire over two decades later. At this point, it seems inevitable that there will be a remake or reboot of the franchise, most likely with CGI Gremlins that will almost certainly lack the charm and magic of the original creatures. Before that day arrives, let’s take a look back at the coolest monster creations from the existing two movies.
A quick word: You’ll notice there are no Mogwai on this list. Clearly they are terrific, but an all-Gremlin list seemed like a better way to pay tribute to the wonder of Walas and Baker’s craftsmanship as well as the brilliance of Joe Dante’s direction. If this saddens you, my apologies, and if I ever meet you in person I’ll be sure to give you a big hug whilst humming Gizmo’s theme.
15) Electricity Gremlin
?I’m a Gremlins purist who feels that the creatures should only be brought to life through foam rubber and traditional puppetry techniques, and I still have nothing but love for the Electricity Gremlin. I’m probably going to sound like a low-rent Dilbert strip here, but there are few things in life that I loathe more than being on hold. So I totally get the pain that he feels while bouncing around the Clamp Centre phone system. Apropos of nothing, but if I ever get around to writing a list about the best deus ex machinas in genre films, you can bet the Electrictity Gremlin will be featured on there somewhere.
14) Shredder Gremlin
While a complete stylistic departure from its predecessor, Gremlins 2 does have one sequence of surprising violence that is so tonally out of tune with the rest of the film that it is jarring. I’m speaking of course about the Gremlin attack on Daniel Clamp that you can watch above. Clamp’s subsequent disposal of the Grimster (as Hulk Hogan would call it) rivals some of the fun kills from the first film. Pay close attention and you’ll see that the scene required John Glover to briefly manipulate the puppet himself. Score another one for practical effects.
13) Microwaved/Blended Gremlins
That, my friends, is today’s moment of Zen.
?Criminally, YouTube is not letting me embed the scene in which Lynn Peltzer goes batshit crazy against the Gremlins in her kitchen. (You can however watch it here). Most of the Gremlins on this list are featured because of their design or personality traits. Not the ones that were killed via blender and microwave however. Nope. These guys are here just because of the awesomeness/grisliness of their respective demises — which remain as crowd-pleasing today as they did back in the summer of 1984. Speaking of the ’80s, here’s a fan video that mashes up this iconic scene with one of the era’s most ubiquitous tunes:
12) Vegetable Gremlin
?The 2008 documentary Seeds of Deception examines the dangers of genetically modified foods. Eighteen years earlier, Gremlins 2: The New Batch explored similar territory by introducing the Vegetable Gremlin. Rick Baker’s design work here — highlighted by some marvelous lettuce ears — never fails to astound me. It also makes me want a salad for lunch, so maybe I’m missing the point. To sum up: our food supply is probably going to mutate and kill us all at some point, and ranch dressing is insanely fucking tasty.
11) The Gremlin Carolers
Gremlins has become a Christmastime viewing must because it offers a dark and funny contrast to the heartwarming schmaltz that most holiday films revel in. In what may be the pinnacle of the movie’s humbuggery, a group of Gremlins carolers torment the evil Mrs. Deagle moments before her untimely yet hilarious death. Depending on your own point of view, these sinister singers are either the antidote to or the cinematic embodiment of Yuletide frustrations. Either way, they are wonderful.
10) Daffy, Lenny and George
Because of Gremlins 2’s anything goes nature, it’s not a shock that the flick’s Daffy, Lenny and George characters were inspired by such diverse sources as Looney Tunes cartoons, Edward G. Robinson films and Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men. Their background befits their schizophrenic behavior, as evidenced by the trio’s above takeover of the Microwave with Marge show. The Three Stooges they aren’t, but for some mutated Mogwai they did pretty well for themselves.
9) The Phantom of the Opera Gremlin
Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera is the longest running musical in Broadway history. Yet in my eyes its lack of a Gremlin in the title role makes it a failure on every level.
8) Flashdance Gremlin
Legwarmers, breakdancing and Gremlins. Goddamn there’s a lot to miss about the 1980s. Trivia: The song in this scene is “Gremlins (Mega Madness)” performed by Michael Sembello — the man who also gave us Flashdance’s “Maniac.” And it all comes full circle…
At first, Mohawk was little more than a Stripe rip-off. Then he drank a potion that turned him into a Gremlin/spider hybrid. What resulted was the greatest screen monster since the glory days of Ray Harryhausen. NECA has yet to include the Spider-Gremlin in their Reel Toys Gremlins line as of yet, probably because it would be cost-prohibitive. As nerds, I think we should all pester them until they finally do so. Come to think of it, a Murray Futterman would be nice too. Hey Rob, can I do a list of Gremlins characters that deserve their own figures next?
6) Bat Gremlin
Biting the hand that feeds always equals laughs. Thus in a film packed with meta moments, the most meta arrived when the Bat Gremlin bursts through the wall of the Clamp building and out into New York City — leaving behind a Bat symbol that beautifully mocked Warner Brothers’ marketing department and the Batman hype that dominated the previous summer. No wonder there was never a Gremlins 3.
5) Mugger Gremlin
?Is the Mugger Gremlin Joe Dante’s subtle condemnation of how crime has infiltrated even the smallest of America’s towns? And more importantly, if Etsy wasn’t around in 1984 where the hell did this Gremlin get his hat?
4) Greta, a.k.a. Lady Gremlina
Also known as Lady Gremlina, Greta is the type of gal you see hanging around street corners in disreputable parts of town late at night. Yes, like Smurfette before her she is the only female in a male-dominated society. Lest you think I am casting aspersions upon her character unjustly let me remind you that we all know how the Mogwai reproduce and eventually become Gremlins. Therefore, her sexuality must purely exist for recreational reasons. Shudder. It’s also feasible that she’s a drag queen, which opens up an entirely new Pandora’s Box of scary and/or scintillating possibilities.
3) Brain Gremlin
Not to be confused with Brian Gremlen (my third grade nemesis), Brain Gremlin has the intellect of Einstein and the voice of Tony Randall. He’s the most charismatic of all of the Gremlins and therefore probably the most dangerous. I mean look how easily he can throw together a first-rate Busby Berkeley production number while simultaneously planning to destroy the Big Apple. That takes some serious multi-tasking skills. Unfortunately, Billy, Kate, Mr. Futterman and company didn’t appreciate his genius and he was killed in what’s become known as the Clamp Centre Incident. Like Andy Kaufman before him, the Brain Gremlin was a culture jammer extraordinaire who went before his time.
2) Jazzy Gremlin
Miles Davis gave us the birth of the cool and Kitchens of Distinction brought us the death of it. In between those two extremes lies a purgatory of slickness and serenity. This is the domain of the Jazzy Gremlin. While his monstrous colleagues indulge their passion for mischief, he’s content to sit back and take in the smooth sounds of Dorry’s Tavern. Even when he is forced to deal with a crumb looking to kill his mellow he doesn’t flip his lid. Nah, Jazzy just takes care of business then resumes grooving. He’s out of this world, man.
?As Billy is fond of saying throughout Gremlins, “the one with the Stripe seems to be the leader.” Indeed. By this point we’ve seen a lot of cool Gremlins, but there’s no one who holds a candle to Stripe. He’s a vicious anarchist with a sweet tooth who wants to bring madness to the town he suddenly finds himself in. Badass and loving it. He doesn’t have the body count of a Jason, Michael Myers or Leatherface, yet Stripe is just as much of a cinema psychopath. Plus, he has a way better hairdo than any of those bastards.
Honorable Mention: Flasher Gremlin
?He doesn’t even have genitals, yet the Flasher Gremlin still likes showing off. Total fucking narcissist. He probably just saw Phoebe Cates’ Fast Times at Ridgemont High topless scene and got fired up.