The DC Penis Conspiracy Goes Deeper Than I Ever Imagined
Yesterday, I shared with you the cover for DC’s Red Hood and the Outsiders, which featured Jason Todd and his incredibly visible, if oddly positioned, penis. Apparently this is not a singular phenomenon. Now, we’d all noticed the the Justice League promo art, where Green Lantern has willed a large green gatling gun into being, and instead of wielding it like a gun, seems to have positioned it directly over his cock. I just assumed that was something DC didn’t notice/realize, or it was an odd angle or cropping, but probably just a mistake.
Apparently not. Apparently that was the first salvo of DC’s new pro-penis agenda. Now, nothing is nearly as graphic as the clearly defined penis and testicles of Jason Todd, but Topless Roboteer Xenos alerted me to two other upcoming DC comic covers: Suicide Squad #2…
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…and Blackhawks #2.
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As you can see, Deadshot has a set of stylized male genitalia painted on his crotch, while the Blackhawk guy has a fighter jet shooting directly out of his groin. One or two of these could be a coincidence. Four of these, including the most graphically drawn penis by one of the two major comic companies? That’s on purpose. Whether the DC editorial staff asked its artists to make their DCnu covers as phallicly-focused as possible or bunch of DC artists got together and decided to sneak as many penises into covers as they could, maybe in silent revolt against DCnU, I don’t know, but this shit is being done on purpose. And it’s hilarious.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.