Comics

Life with Archie Is Still Totally @#$%ing Insane

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?A few months back, I did a Daily List about The 10 Craziest Moments from Life with Archie: The Married Life (So Far). Since then, things have been kinda quiet for Archie and the Riverdale gang. At least that’s what I thought until I read the just released 12th issue of the series. Why, you may ask? Because the shit has just officially hit the fan. Spoilers from here on in, folks! But spoilers totally worth learning if only to see how awesomely insane Archie has gotten.


As you may remember, each issue of Life with Archie includes two stories – one set in a future where the comic ginger marries Veronica and another in which he weds Betty.
Thusly, new developments in the Veronica future include:

? Hints that the increasingly bearded Dilton and Mr. Lodge (the closest thing Riverdale has to a super villain) are working on some sort of underground experiment involving parallel universes. Dilton even vanishes all Sliders-like!

? Mr. Lodge gleefully ruins Veronica by coldly stating that Archie was only ever interested in her money.

? A now-unemployed Archie is forced to move back in with his parents, which causes a mild existential crisis for him.

? The whole trial of Reggie Mantle storyline comes to a close.

Okay, so maybe that stuff isn’t too crazy yet. So let’s see what’s going on in the future where Archie married Betty:

? More parallel world shenanigans with Dilton, suggesting that his genius may be of the mad variety.

? Mr. Lodge’s plan to burn down Riverdale High is set in action, resulting in the near deaths of Archie, a student and Moose – who also is featured in a sadistic little sequence in which he is nearly executed.

? Oh yeah, also as Riverdale High burns Reggie arrives out of nowhere suggesting that VERONICA HAS FUCKING DIED IN A PLANE CRASH. Check it for yourself:

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Of course this will probably wind up being a publicity stunt like ever other comic death, but what is especially interesting about this is how Veronica’s death was predicted way back in this panel from the first issue in which Dilton gave one of his bizarre soliloquies — check the image at the article’s top.

Seeing how Miss Grundy already bit the dust, it’s likely that Veronica is definitely a goner as well. And exactly why does Dilton seem to have a mastery of time and space anyways? I don’t know about you, but I’m hoping all this timey-wimey stuff is just a huge lead-in to a Doctor Who crossover.

Again, I can’t emphasize enough that if you aren’t reading Life with Archie you are truly missing out on some serious insanity. For my money it’s the most consistently entertaining comic being written right now. Archie fans old and new would be doing themselves a favor by checking it out.