It’s been ages since we’ve heard anything about the live-action Star Wars TV show; last we heard, it was going to be set in-between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, and there were like 50 scripts done, just waiting for a point where technology advanced enough to make making the show cost effective. But now there’s new news — the show’s subtitle! Drumroll, please…
…Star Wars: Underworld
?Really? “Underworld”? Ignoring the fact that it’s same name as the ridiculous vampire/werewolf movies starring Kate Beckinsale’s ass, let’s go ahead and examine the ramifications of this name, since we have no other information. Underworld implies a world underneath the surface, which would be the rule of the Empire, so we’re probably looking at smugglers and criminals and maybe even rebellions. That’s all well and groovy. Unfortunately, since Star Wars is a space epic, “Underworld” has a negative connotation that there’s one specific world involved here — “Underspace” or “Undergalaxy” would seemingly be more appropriate, albeit very goofy. Surely the show won’t be set on one world — half the appeal of Star Wars is the variety of alien locales, not to mention the space battles. Setting it on one planet would suck. Like, The Battle of Endor suck. And I’m sure some of you are crying foul, that Battle for Endor was awesome. But would you watch a Battle for Endor TV series? Happily? Liar.
Of course, I still don’t think Star Wars: Underworld is in any danger of getting made yet, so there’s plenty of time for things to change. On the other hand, George Lucas sucks with names, so if it changes, it will likely be worse. Look, George, call it Star Wars: Naked Cash Grab for all I care, just make sure the show actually feels like Star Wars please, okay?