?Regardless of your current stance in relationship-land, Valentine’s Day can give off some pretty notorious vibes. Not only does it remind single peeps that they’re out of the love equation every February 14th, it can also lead to some angst-riddled (and expensive) purchasing decisions. Don’t forget, historically, the day’s even played host to massive casualties. So, yeah, uh…good times?
Since V-Day clearly has its darker tendencies, it’s not surprising that evildoers themselves are prone to trading affections, just like the good guys. Well… not just like them. These couplings can be as harsh on each other as they are their enemies, and all in the name of romance, no less! So, to celebrate this gloomy side of cupid’s arrow, we’re counting down eight prominent pairings between champions of wrong. Read up, and happy Valentine’s Day, guys and gals. May you at least score some candy out the deal.
8) Destiny and Mystique
Not the most famous duo on this list, Destiny and Mystique are nonetheless a noteworthy part of villainous couple-dom in the Marvel Universe. Together, they formed a contingent of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, played a hand in raising Rogue, and, at one point, were rumored to have been in line to be dubbed the parents of Nightcrawler, with Mystique utilizing her shape-shifting abilities to play the role of Kurt’s biological father.
7) Absorbing Man and Titania ?
Strong-armed villainess Titania found her match in husband Absorbing Man, an ex-boxer and convict who became known after Loki supplied him with some Asgardian power potion, allowing him to change his molecular structure to copy the properties of any material he’s able to touch. The couple met after the Secret Wars, and continued their crime sprees as a couple. They’ve collectively had run-ins with the X-Men, Thor, and Spider-Man, to name a few, and in some cases have even come close to toppling them.
6) Spike and Drusilla
Imagining a more destructive – and swarmy – pairing than this installment would be difficult. Yeah, together they’re jerks, but they’re also truly in love, by their own definition anyway. Somewhere between trying to kill Buffy and working to bed her, Spike is a fairly trustworthy match for the quite crazy Drusilla. When tested, Spike’s shown his affection in various ways, including nursing her back to health after some unfortunate events in Prague. We assume this was to repay Dru for when she showed him how much she cared, by, um, turning him into a vampire. Cheers.
5) Envy Adams and Todd Ingram
Envy and Todd are that successful couple you love to hate. They’re so compatible, and elitist – why, with Envy in her popular band and Todd with his fancy Vegan Academy education and all – that just tolerating their company is a battle in its own right. More than anything, they seem to love rubbing it in people’s faces, including those of Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers, our noble heroes, and their respective exes. We’re open to admitting this: seeing the smug Todd be relinquished of his powers has to be one of the most satisfying things we’ve ever witnessed.
4) Dr. Doom and Morgan Le Fay
Depending on your definition, Dr. Doom’s romance with sorceress Morgan Le Fay may not exactly be considered an epic yarn, although he did travel back in time to “visit” her, so that’s gotta count for something (well, as much as a dalliance between two world-renown evils can count, anyway). During their chronotryst, Doom essentially trades his presence for knowledge of Morgan’s dark arts to help fuel is misdeeds, but despite the arrangement, the relationship ultimately ends about as well as you’d imagine it would (with attempted assassination). No one said villainous courtship was easy.
3) Baroness and Destro
While Destro’s known to sometimes play both sides of a conflict, he’s definitely not a clean-cut good guy in the traditional sense, as working with Cobra (even occasionally) tends to exclude you from that company. Meanwhile, things don’t get much blacker than the heart of his lady, high-ranking Cobra operative The Baroness. While their love is consistently placed against a backdrop of gritty conflict, they’re also not above making out while on assignment. Turns out baddies like to enjoy a little off-the-cuff romance once in a while.
2) Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd
Considering their history, it’s hard to believe that these two ever actually became an item. Sure, Rita used a love potion, but it had to be a power play; after all, Zedd did mercilessly punt her into space for her (first) season’s-worth of combined failings. But, become a couple they did, continuing the tradition of being outclassed by the MMPR together for the rest of their tenure on the show. Zedd’s preposterous theatrics are a good match for Rita’s whininess and total lack of accountability, and while Zordon’s energy wave may have cleansed them of their evil ways, we’ll always have the memories of their cranky love affair to cherish.
1) Joker and Harley Quinn
A testament to the relationship maddeningly derailed, this duo bleeds anarchy, carving out a crazed existence for both those around them and each other. To define insanity is their code, repeating their squabbles in a destructive, and infinite, loop. Despite the fact that they’re unquestionably better off without each other, Harley can’t help missing her favorite clown when not by his side, while Joker is a mess when he can’t use his former psychiatrist as an emotional (and sometimes physical) punching bag. If you drop all of that though, you’ve got the perfect couple! Ain’t love grand?