I was super excited when Gizmodo proclaimed “They Finally Made a Real Lightsaber!” I should have known is was too good to be true. Wicked Lasers, the guys behind the last unlicensed lightsaber incident, have announced their new “Laser Saber” (subtle, guys) which puts one of their crazy ass, blind-you-instantly-if-you-shine-it-in-your-eyes lasers inside a faux lightsaber hilt. The beam does rise up and down when turned off and on… but so do the Master Replicas lightsabers. Actually, as far as I can, tell, the only difference between the Master Replicas sabers and these things are that the Laser Sabers are really fucking bright — and maybe the tube housing the light is clearer? Oh, and you can actually hurt/burn/blind someone with a Laser Saber because of the aforementioned super laser. While there’s a certain appeal there, the fact that Wicked Lasers says “DO NOT FAKE FIGHT WITH THE LASER SABER AND WEAR LASER GLASSES IF YOU EVEN WANT TO TURN IT ON” kind of ruins it for me. I mean, why even have a lightsaber if you’re not going to fake fight with it?