The Obama administration has pledged to respond to every petition it gets that has more than 25,000 signatures, which seems an awfully time-consuming proposition – to be honest, I bet all the readers of this site could easily combine forces and fill one up quickly, which may be a really stupid idea for a publicity stunt down the line (talk amongst yourselves).
This being America, it shouldn’t be any surprise that 25,000 of us tried to insist upon our Force-given right to a national Death Star. What did surprise me was the savviness of the official response. Here’s a sample:
This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For
By Paul Shawcross
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
-The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
-The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
-Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
When you read the entire thing, you’ll learn that there’s even a NASA program called C3PO! And contrary to what opponents of this president might believe, it is not a program designed to preemptively apologize to interstellar Hutt crimelords in their native language.
Hat tip to more readers than I can name – this was easily the most-submitted tip I have ever received.