Here are the things I know about Valrosa Beach after looking at its Kickstarter:
1. The use of 16-bit, SNES/Genesis style animation is not something I’ve ever seen before. A whole movie of it would be dubious, but certain trippy sequences? I’m down with that like Mario ducking a giant bomb.
2. The original synth music reminds me of what I loved when I was ten. I want the soundtrack yesterday. Or yester-decade…or three. Dammit, I’m older than I wanna be. But you get the full soundtrack for $5, and – obligatory Kickstarter-related dead-horse beating alert – I bet it’ll be better than whatever dopey emo shit ZACH BRAFF puts in HIS Kickstarter movie!
3. The acting seems extremely dubious, if the director’s performance in the pitch video (embedded below) is anything to go by. But he only wants five grand, and items 1 and 2 alone are probably worth it.
Look, even if this sucks, it’s original. But if it fulfills all its potential, then, to steal a Miami Vice lyric, “I can feel nerds cumming in their hair tonight, oh Lord!” That is what Phil Collins was singing, right?