I take pictures. Lots of them.
We’ve covered the show in words, talking substantively about what was announced and revealed. But none of that gives you a real sense of what it’s like to actually be there.
I hope this will.
Stand in the place where you work, now face front.
With those booth babes on the hood of the car, it’s truly Tanks for the mammaries.
Soon to be adapted into an eight-part movie.
A photo-op is in somebody’s destiny.
Size matters, but the thin strands of drool are what really make the monster.
The first of TWO elaborate booths for video games about farming.
Real life army guys challenge nerds to beat them at first-person shooters for charity, and there are almost no takers.
George Lucas always intended for there to be giant headphones in his movies, but he could never quite fit them in until now.
This is exactly how I feel trying to come up with funny captions for everything.
Creepy, inanimate objects with plastic, dead stares. And Skylanders.
The goddamn Batmobile. For a long, good Knight.
Just animate this and it’ll be a better Spider-Man movie than the last two.
Hey, what do you say to War Machine when he can’t get his metal pants off? “Make love not, War Machine.”
Revisionist “Heroine” Maleficent joins Disney Infinity, and unlike the Lone Ranger avatars actually looks a bit like the actor who plays her. That looks like a hint of Mr. Toad in the future – here’s hoping he gets a level that actually ends up in Hell, like the ride.
Oh, wait, no need for Hell, because this is a big hint that Small World is also coming, and it’s the closest thing to eternal torment anyone can imagine.
Jesus loves gamers, because they understand dying and coming back like nobody else.
Ub3r Pwnage. That Jesus sure speaks my language.
That sure is a big inflatable something-or-other.
This dude would seem to be overcompensating in EVERY POSSIBLE way.
Pop Culture Shock Collectibles presents Dhalsim. It’s a bit of a stretch to think I can afford it.
I know Pico and Figueroa, and you, sir, are not it.
Sonic action figure prototypes. Team this toy up with Ponda Baba and you can be the Eggman AND the Walrus.
Lifesize Sonic characters. I doubt they made it through the show unmolested.
Is he making gang signs at me?
Dude, you’re standing under his butt.
This Gentle Giant Chris Hardwick toy already has his own development deal; will host Talking Talking Dead to comment on his real-world counterpart’s show immediately prior.
Mirror in the bathroom. It’s impossible to get your face perfectly matched up, but everyone tries.
Okay, hands-up who’d go to church more if it looked like this?
From the concept art exhibition – that one dude has my hat.
Same exhibition, different game.
This display is ALMOST TOTALLY NUTS. Get it?
“Look at me, I’m back in time, in 1886.”
Nintendo seems to be doing just fine, by the way, if crowds are any measure.
Eye eye eye.
What a block
Squid Pro. Quo?
I know what you’re thinking: “But I haven’t beaten parts 12-14 yet!”
Just fucking put wheels on this thing and call it a day.
Incorporate a toilet into this somehow and you’ll never have to walk again.
Call me prejudiced, but I’m not persuaded that this will be very good barbecue.
Not too far off from total VR – it just needs that, shall we say, “Japanese” touch to make it a perfect fantasy simulator.
WHAT UP, G?
Yes, I took this photo just so I could use that line. I’m sorry.
The Princess Peach image and the lettering is a total animated projection on glass. Pretty cool. Peachy, you might say.
A cute vampire with a soda hat appears to be the new hip, happening mascot. They were giving out balloons of this li’l guy.
(Cue everyone in comments correcting me and explaining exactly what he is, not realizing I’ll forget immediately.)
How not to hold a gun.
Hashtag Uber! So you know it’s amazing!
What a great sign about greatness.
Best souvenir ever. I don’t always play sports games, but when I do, I make it the Luke Thompson edition.
Yes, I’m opening myself up to some terrible, terrible photoshopping with this pose, I know.
If you’re commanding me, it isn’t really free, is it?
He’s looking at you, Beavis. He’s saying, “I like what I see.’
And that’s a wrap on E3 for another year, folks.