Ian McKellen as a 93 year-old Sherlock Holmes may see long life as a benidiction, but we have to wonder if he still wants to cum a batch. This was but one of the weekend thread stories you might have missed, compiled with the aid of Kyle LeClair, and now it’s time for the rest. Tipsters this week include skrag2112, Gallen_Dugall, Citrus King, CobraCommander, NOT.DrAbraxas, brownkidd, Anyone00, scockery, DrAbraxas, SlyDante777, fury_cartoon, donnaryoko,andre_morelo
1. Knock Knock. Who’s There? New. New Who? Exactly.
The only misstep is speaking aloud the phrase “Into darkness.”
2. The Few. The Proud. The Fictionally Spacefaring.
The dream of space Marines who may or may not be robots is one that just won’t die. Nuking it from orbit, perhaps, would be the only way to be sure.
3. Pony up, Capcom.
As the world waits for more Mega Man, the inevitable My Little Pony version comes into existence first.
4. Knights in Black Rubber…
We don’t know who the Arkham Knight is yet, but you can already make plans to play with him.
5. It’s a Gas, Gas, Gas.
Fart smelling could prevent cancer. Which may explain why beans are so good for you.
6. You Tink DAAAT’s Baaaad…
Remembah da time a real-life Peter Griffin did stand-up at a comic-con?
7. The Kaijus Are Still Responsible for All the Wars in the World.
Guillermo del Toro reveals plans for the Pacific Rim animated series. Your guess is as good as mine as to whether this is part of the 10% of things he reveals plans for that ever actually happen.
8. They Don’t Call it Death Valley for Nothing.
R.I.P. Fenrir Greyback. Now we’ll never get that deathmatch with Jacob from Twilight the world so richly deserved.
9. Ouch. Phone Home for a Lawyer.
Steven Spielberg, shameful murderer of dinosaurs.
10. You Got Game, Boy.
A handheld entertainment device ruins a relationship, then maybe, kinda-sorta provides an alternative.
11. In Space, No-One Can Here You Get Replaced.
The Alien: Isolation game adds downloadable content featuring the original movie crew, all of whom play themselves save Ian Holm – who granted his likeness but vocally appears via impersonation.
This particular Ash, it seems, does not wish to give you any sugar.
This Japanese Doctor Who-Power Rangers mash-up parody isn’t a real show, but of course it should be.
13. So YouTube’s Got That Going for It, Which Is Nice.
A 1983 comedy starring Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd, that has somehow never been released by the studio that owns the rights, is available to watch online.
14. Spider-Plans, Spider-Plans, Change Whenever We HATE THEIR FUCKING MOVIES.
Roberto Orci is out of the Spider-Man movie business, as they figure out what the hell they do to recover the goodwill squandered since Sam Raimi left the series.
15. Lucy, You Got Some ‘Splainin’ to Do.
What if Scarlett Johansson’s character in the upcoming movie were really, really dumb…and looked like a dude?
16. Oh Hai Score, Denny.
Atari and Denny’s. Two outdated, stale tastes that make ostensible “food” together.
17. Enemy, Mine.
The Honest Trailer for Minecraft still doesn’t tell you how to tame a horse.
18. Breaking Bad Endings.
While most of us liked Godzilla, I’d say the comparisons herein to Pacific Rim and Man of Steel are particularly on-the-nose.