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The 17 Coolest Things in Starlog #009: Star Wars Ascends, Star Trek Descends, and Shatner Absconds



The ninth issue of Starlog hit the stands on September 1, 1977, the sixth of the eight-times-a-year issues. The focus is primarily on television, including the surely-going-to-happen new Star Trek series intended to replace the definitely-not-gonna-happen Star Trek feature film, but Star Wars continues to pull focus. And William Shatner tries to walk away from it all.

Wanna see all the stuff I skipped? The full run of Starlog is available over at the Internet Archive, and here are the previous installments of this series.

1. Cover: Logan Runs to Escape the Blob, Evidently.

Ah, nothing like the strike-an-action-pose-and-hold-it shot. See also the Darkman poster, or the first promo of Peter Capaldi as the Doctor.

And, the doughy arm from the cover of Starlog 008 which some Topless Robot readers got cranky about me describing as “doughy” is now replaced by one which can charitably described as “scrawny.” There, boys. Happy now? Good.

Meanwhile, the editors have high hopes for the new Logan’s Run series.


It did not quite become the most successful TV-SFer since Star Trek; instead, Logan’s Run only ran for 14 episodes, making it exactly as successful as the live-action Planet of the Apes TV series, and one episode more successful than the animated Return to the Planet of the Apes series.

2. The Editors Take a Stand.


The “From the Bridge” editorial in this issue discusses examples of diversity, and acceptance of said diversity, in science fiction. Mostly it’s about Star Trek, though Star Wars gets snuck in there too, citing one of that film’s “great delights” being “the constant parade of alien creatures who truly fascinate us with their diversity.”

And then, context:


Hells yeah, Starlog! Granted, I don’t personally believe that being into science fiction necessarily makes anyone a better person than, say, being into horror or porn makes them a worse person – one of my early disillusionments about the nature of humanity was the number of truly unpleasant people I encountered at the Mystery Science Theater 3000 ConventioCon ExpoFest-A-Rama 2 in 1996 – but this was still a bold position to take.

Context: in 1977, Dade County, FL passed an ordinance banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Anita Bryant, Florida orange juice spokesperson and easy-listening singer, launched a virulently homophobic campaign called “Save Our Children” to overturn the ordinance, saying that the gays were out to recruit kids, and the next stop after giving rights to queers is to also grant rights to prostitutes (gasp!) and to “people who sleep with St. Bernards” (it’s always the slippery slope, but that’s a curiously specific example, n’est-ce pas?). Also, in a paper entitled “Why Certain Sexual Deviations Are Punishable By Death” (spoiler: Leviticus gets dragged into it, as usual), she not only listed homosexuality, but also “racial mixing of human seed.” So, Anita Byrant, a very nice person. Kudos to Starlog for calling her on it, and I’m looking forward to the keep your gay politics to yourself, you gay you! letters in future issues. And, speaking of cranky letters…

3. The Star Wars Nitpickery Begins!


The editors deflect that one nicely.


And, I dunno, but I have a sneaking suspicion that this Maryland gentleman was in no way, shape, or form “afraid” or otherwise distressed to have to reveal this glaring mistake. Just a hunch.


Nice touch, namedropping Time.



Pretty solid defense, that. Here’s the glaring mistake (I do not think “glaring” means what they think it means) from the issue in question:


In retrospect, it might have helped if Starlog had also italicized According to Lippincott. But probably not. It’s too much fun to kill the messenger.

Meanwhile, 2001: A Space Odyssey continues to be a point of contention, and much like (to use a random example) when the Ben Affleck-as-Batman kerfuffle is compared to the Michael-Keaton-as Batman foofaraw, it bugs people when you bring up 2001 when talking about Star Wars, so please stop doing it.


Another Dover resident, just about done with his first half-decade in Tolkien fandom, is gettin’ like Harrison Ford for news about the forthcoming movie…


…and Starlog describes Ralph Bakshi to a T. Or a B.


“Erratically brilliant” just nails Bakshi, though only “erratic” comes close to describing his The Lord of the Rings. I’m still scarred by that movie, but I’ll go into more detail next time.
And speaking of both 1970s Tolkien and divisive sci-fi movies, I came across this in the May 19, 1972 edition of The Deseret News.


Oh, Young Romantics of the Tolkien-Vonnegut Generation, where have you gone? Did you ever exist? And where’s the three-movie, nine-hour trilogy based on Slaughterhouse-5?

4. Did We Mention the On-Location Footage? Because It Has That!


I’m sure my family watched this when it first aired, and if it was past my bedtime, I probably caught it in repeats. It’s evidently included in the Blu-ray box set, which has been one of the the nice things about the Star Wars video releases over the years: this kind of archival material. (Except for anamorphic versions of the theatrical editions, of course.)

The special itself doesn’t appear to be on YouTube, but here’s the ABC promo for it with the golden throat of Ernie Anderson, and ever-so-slight letterboxing.

And here are the closing credits. I feel like that’s the end of a commercial right before the credits actually start; does anybody recognize it? Or are those the final moments of the show itself?

By the way, if you watched ABC anytime from the mid-1970s through the late 1990s, you know Ernie Anderson’s voice, and you need to hear this outtake reel of ol’ Ghoulardi himself swearing up a blue storm. It’s extremely NSFW, and relentlessly hilarious.

5. Space Mountain Arrives in California.


“Zippity-Doo-Dah” seems like an strange choice to dedicate Space Mountain, but 1977 was a strange year, and John Barry’s terrific theme to The Black Hole didn’t exist yet.

Here’s a compilation of all the music used at the various Space Mountain(s) through 2011. The 1977 com chatter that begins at 19:32 should be played in the background of all public places at all times.

And speaking of Disney and space…

6. Wernher von Braun Goes to that Big Paperclip in the Sky.


Rocket scientist Wernher von Braun died on my fourth birthday! He appeared in the “Mars and Beyond,” “Man and the Moon,” and “Man in Space” episodes of Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color in the mid-1950s, and William Shatner namedropped him in the 1970s. Von Braun also designed the V-2 rocket used by the Germans during World War II, but hell, you gotta start somewhere. Starlog’s obit glosses over the Nazi angle, but that’s what Tom Lehrer is for.

7. Superman v Nobody: The Dawn of Nothing Is Underway!


Okay, first off: I really wanted to like Man of Steel. Superman has always been my favorite primary superhero – I don’t think I’ve ever actually read a Batman comic other than The Dark Knight Returns – and every couple of years I rewatch Superman Returns in the hope that it’ll grow on me more. And I would have been okay with the neck-snappin’ destructo-porn at the end of Man of Steel were it not for the fact that at no point prior does he just go out and fight regular crime, to foil a bank robbery or even rescue a damn cat out of a tree. Instead, after he gets his suit and learns to fly in, he heads to his mom’s house to drink beer and watch football. Bleargh.

Anyway, the production of the first Superman movie was legendarily chaotic – almost moreso than that of the first Star Trek movie – with a prime example being that they were already planning the Mount Rushmore gag in 1977. (By the way, Superman special-effects overseer John Barry is a different John Barry than Black Hole composer John Barry.) That effect did wind up in the Richard Lester cut of Superman II in 1980, but as we know from the 2006 restoration of Richard Donner’s cut, it wasn’t going to be done at all.

And speaking of scenes that may or may not have been intended for, or ended up in, a given version of a Superman film…



This scene was shot by Richard Donner for Superman II, but unused by Richard Lester. You never can tell.

9. Yep, He’s Totally Done With Star Trek.


The Star Trek years, don’tchaknow, which are very much in the past. Still, “inside” stories recorded “live!” I can’t help thinking that since they were on a roll, they should have put quotes around “thrilling,” “exclusive,” and “record-breaking.” And “six weeks,” just to be on the safe side.

10. Wonder-Cheesecake.


An article about the ABC Wonder Woman series, set during World War II, getting dropped by the network and picked up by CBS. The network updated the show to modern times, because the fashions were so much better in 1977 than in 1942. And for budgetary reasons as well, but whatever.

Also, many pictures of Lynda Carter in costume. Enjoy.


11. Brooding Beefcake.


“Perhaps” forever, they say. What does the road ahead hold? He was clearly angling to be a Sears model.


Sitting in his chick-magnet with the Starlog correspondent, Shatner (and not at all in the midst of a mid-life crisis) explains what’s up.


So that’s that, he’ll have us know.


No Star Trek movie, and thus by extension, no Star Trek of any kind. But he’s still makin’ movies, and couldn’t sound more excited.


Nothing like the star thinking there are some moments that might be very effective! Kingdom of the Spiders is available as a VOD from Rifftrax if you want to judge for yourself.

It should be mentioned that the interview with Shatner in Starlog #009 was done before the announcement inStarlog #008 that Star Trek would be returning to television. So he certainly hadn’t received his hand-delivered press release just yet…

12. Please Come Back to the Show! If You Want.


In Susan Sackett’s Star Trek Report column, she reveals the method by which the original cast were informed about the proposed TV series. Seems kinda impersonal and vague, giving them press releases rather than job offers or personal letters, but this is Roddenberry we’re talking about.

Production on the series was expected to begin shortly after this issue hit the stands…


…and, seriously, they wanted it on the air within six months? “Somewhat unrealistic” was an understatement. This was the recurring problem with the new Star Trek: for as long as it took for Paramount to decide to make it, once they decided to make it, it was always too rushed. The same thing happened with the eventual Star Trek: The Motion Picture which had an unbreakable opening date of December 7, 1979. It would have been hard enough to make the movie, let alone make it good, even if production began in late 1977. But Paramount was still publicly dicking around with the idea of doing it as a TV show even after Star Wars became a phenomenon, and starting truly invading the conventions…

13. Creeping Star Wars Law at Space-Con.


Ms. Sackett formally announced that theStar Trek movie was dead and the TV series was mostly a go at Space-Con 4 in June of 1977. Note that the flyer (not published in Starlog, but instead found on fanlore.org) is still heavily slanted towards Star Trek, with no mention of the upstart Star Wars


…but we do have our first Wookiee sighting, as well as Don Post’s masks for sale.


Changes were afoot, the future was coming on, and the name of the future would surely be…



Magicam! The new miracle process that makes you part of the action!

Well, not exactly. The details of the system are way too left-brainy for me to properly summarize, but basically it turns this…


…into this.


It’s not wholly dissimilar to the front-projection system that Stanley Kubrick used to the film the Dawn of Man sequences in 2001: A Space Odyssey (and/or to fake the moon landings, depending on who you ask), nor the Introvision system Sam Raimi used in Darkman and Army of Darkness, but not the same thing as those, either. (Speaking of Darkman for the second time this article, please enjoy my essay about the film over at the Village Voice, and list about the two straight-to-VHS Darkman sequels.)

The process never quite caught on, though they did win a bunch of Emmys for their work on Carl Sagan’s Cosmos.

15. David Gerrold Almost Drops a Bomb.


David Gerrold’s column in this issue was an impassioned plea to donate blood to the just-launched Robert A. Heinlein Blood Drive, which is as noble cause as it gets, but damn, I want to read “The Phenomenon Phenomenon” so much. Hopefully it’s not just a tease, and he’ll revisit it in a later issue.

16. You Want Even More Star Wars? Here, Have Even More Star Wars!


Starlog’s continued random coverage of Star Wars gets even randomer, and starts off with a huge “Fuck You” to Star Trek, the show without which Starlog would not exist in its current form. They don’t say it in so many words, and there’s no question that the Three Laws were a major milestone, but calling Star Wars the best thing to happen to science fiction since 1942? Damn, that’s harsh.

It’s a basically a bunch of vaguely organized trivia, with an unsurprising focus on the hardware, the aliens and robots, and the audience-identification character, though there are other interesting tidbits.


I suspect the “you spelled Wookiee wrong!” letters will pile up in Starlog #011.


While Lucas’ Flash Gordon inspiration has always been an open secret, I’m skeptical about “most of the happy fans” referring to it as “the best Flash Gordon movie ever made.” That just rings false, somehow.

Not ringing false is Carrie Fisher, proving from the start just how awesome she is.


The “George Lucas is Star Wars is George Lucas” angle is hit pretty hard, including this.


It’s times like this that I take solace in the fact that my work will never, ever be so popular that people will go through it with a fine-toothed comb to find me contradicting myself. We’re all hypocritical and inconsistent at times, every last one of us. I do believe that 1977 Lucas was being sincere in his desire for people to copy the movie so there’d be more like it for him to enjoy, and though accounts vary, I’d wager that he probably wasn’t directly involved in Twentieth Century Fox’s copyright-infringement lawsuit against MCA over Battlestar Galactica. I’ve of course disagreed with a lot of things he’s done over the past few decades, but Lucas just seemed so bushy-tailed at the time, y’know? And even though he had the foresight to get the merchandising rights, he couldn’t have known where it was all going.

17. The Star Wars Creep Continues in the Classifieds.


Not just a new one, but the first Star Wars fanzine! I wrote about it and others last year.

The deadline for classified ads in Starlog #009 was July 8, 1977, though they also knew that that issue wouldn’t come out until September 1, giving them plenty of time get their Super Star Wars Catalog(s) ready to go.


And the soundtrack, though unlike William Shatner’s recent discography, it was available in stores. (Probably; I haven’t been able to track down an exact release date for the soundtrack album, but it was surely on the shelves by that point in 1977.)


The first Ecumenical movement between Star Wars and Star Trek begins in the ‘zines…


…while others could tell the breeze was blowin’ from the Easterly direction.


Et tu, Starfleet Command?

Coming up in Starlog #010: The return of the Space Shuttle Enterprise, the Rock Connection, and Bakshi on Bakshi.

Previously by Sherilyn Connelly:

The 7 Coolest Things About Ayumi Seto’s J-POP Appearance at San Francisco’s Cherry Blossom Festival

7 Reasons You Should See Terminator Too: Judgment Play

Manos: The Hands of Fate Restored – The So-Called “Worst Movie” Has Never Looked Better

The 33 Coolest Videos from PONIES: The Anthology

6 Reasons You Should Watch Bullet in the Face

The 5 Coolest Things About the Navajo Translation of Star Wars

15 Awesomely Nerdy Behind-the-Scenes Documentaries You Can Watch for Free Right Now

The Eight Funniest Recurring Themes in the Original Star Wars Trading Cards

The Six Coolest Things In Starlog #001: The Voyage in Retro-Nerdery Begins

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