Who’s Randy Orton?
A WWE wrestler who comes off as a total douche and basically has one good move – the RKO – that’s more or less a rip-off of Steve Austin’s Stone Cold Stunner.
Fuck. Aren’t you supposed to keep the stupid wrestling posts to one a week? You wrote about Hulk Hogan on Friday, and now this?
I’m sorry. But this is about superhero movies too. Also, Randy Orton has made movies as well as being a wrestler.
Like fucking what?
Well, he did The Marine 3…oh no, wait, he got fired from that after actual military people found out he was a dishnorably discharged former Marine. Umm…he was in that one movie about bullying, where Ed Harris played a gay teacher.
And who did he play?
A total douche. He doesn’t stretch much.
Why are we even talking about this, again?
Because the fake trailer you’re about to see is really funny, with a barely animated Randy Orton fighting Henry Cavill and everyone else.
So why are you totally ripping off Rob right now?
I didn’t call this a spoiler FAQ, so it’s totally different.
No it isn’t.
I’ll give you a magic kiss that will make you forget everything.
Okay. But you’re missing out.
h/t Max Landis, who clearly really does not like dark and brooding Superman.