?You bought your ticket to San Diego Comic-Con months ago and now it’s finally here. The Mecca of Nerds. Geek prom. Basically, home away from home. You’ve planned your schedule carefully so you’re guaranteed to get the most out of your trip and are putting final preparations in order.
Comfortable shoes? Check. Your four best superhero t-shirts? Check. Sketchbook? Check. Condoms? Che… wait, what are you going to need those for? You’re not getting laid. Or are you? Here’s a few tips for the geeks and geekettes that will hopefully help you get some action for the first time at Comic-Con. Or, you know, the first time ever.
Just don’t think of trying any of this stuff on me, I can spot a Topless Robot reader from a mile away and that would be, *ahem* against “official policy.”
10) Location, Location, Location
Over 120,000 geeks attended last year’s SDCC, so you’re odds of getting action here are better than probably anywhere else in the world simply because everyone under that one roof likes what you like. Use this to your advantage. If you strike out with one person, don’t dwell. Learn from it and move on. There are plenty of geeks in the sea. Speaking of sea, you’ve got that huge Pacific Ocean thing in San Diego. Nothing like beautiful scenery to start a beautiful romance.
9) Stalk the Smaller Panels
If you want the chance to talk to a member of the opposite sex, sitting in Hall H all day isn’t going to help you (although standing in line for it gives you plenty of opportunity to start conversation). Go over the panel schedule again and look for something that interests you that involves few or no celebrities. Something that promotes discussion is a plus. You’ll likely be able to get a good look around a room like that and if someone strikes your fancy, wait until the panel is over and ask them what they thought of the topic. Might I suggest the “Geek Girls Exist” or “Where Are the Action Chicks?” panels? I’m slightly biased seeing as how I’m on both, but they really are a good start.
8) Clean Yourself
I know it’s a stereotype but I cannot stress this one enough. Carry your deodorant/antiperspirant around with you and re-apply during the day. Take a shower in the morning and take a shower when you get back to your hotel room after you’ve left the show for the day. Not only is it hot outside, it’s hot inside with all those bodies packed so tightly together. You’d think most people realize this but they don’t. It’s sound advice that benefits everyone at the convention and will help you when it comes time to make your move. And please don’t forget to brush your teeth either.
7) Be a Tour Guide
Lots of people have been attending SDCC for years but for some, this may be their very first visit. If you’re a pro, why not try giving them some guidance? Discuss the best ways to navigate the show floor, which bathrooms to avoid or how walking to the grocery store a few blocks away will save you a lot of money on lunch. Even better? Suggest you go together to show him or her the way. This is a very casual thing that can become something less casual as the day goes on. It’s almost like having a date without the pressure of calling it a date. And who knows? Maybe they’ll be the ones suggesting you show them the best nightlife of the city.
6) Don’t Stop When the Con Stops
Speaking of nightlife, there are tons of things to do after the convention doors close for the day and most of them are free and open to the public. Some of them are listed on the Comic-Con website like the Independent Film Festival but it’s not too hard to find others. These screenings, concerts and parties are a great opportunity to meet someone. Plus, with alcohol as your liquid courage and loud music to muffle your embarrassing pick-up lines you’ll probably score by shear dumb luck. And if you get invited up to a random hotel party, go. Wild things have been known to happen at Comic-Con. Not that I’d know from experience or anything.
5) Cosplay Appropriately
Ladies, you can pretty much dress up as anything and you’ll have your choice of man-geek but always remember to dress appropriately for your shape/body. I don’t care how big a Star Wars fan you are, not everyone was made for a Slave Leia costume. Might I suggest going with a friend and using the old standbys, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn? Guys can’t get enough of them. There are significantly less men who dress up for SDCC but it’s cool to see. Like the ladies, if you can do a costume that suits you, go for it. Just keep in mind, “Chubby Spider-Man” and the like are funny for a minute but it won’t get you any tail. You’re much better off in your normal clothes, making a normal impression.
4) Do These Things
There are a few things you need to keep in mind while looking for a hookup at SDCC, most importantly, DO be safe. I know I joked about the condoms before but don’t get your geek-on without one. DO invite her friends to hang out with your friends and vice versa. People are much more comfortable hanging out in groups, especially when they’ve just met. You can always ask to go for a more private walk after you’ve warmed to each other. DO set boundaries. Do you both live in the same state? No? Then this might be a short love affair. Make sure you both know that and discuss whether or not sex is even on the table.
3) Don’t Do These Things
When you’ve finally decided on someone you’d like to approach, DON’T stalk them for the better part of an hour trying to figure out what they like. If you see them at the Blizzard booth, ask them about Warcraft. If you can’t do this within five minutes, choose someone else. DON’T get sloppy drunk. Not only can this be dangerous, it can also lead to horrible regret. Waking up in a room full of Orcs probably wasn’t what you had in mind when you had that first rum and coke. Unless it was, then, good work. DON’T buy a total stranger a toy or other present because you saw them admiring it. That’s CREEPY. At least wait until you’ve slept with them to leave a power ring on their pillow.
2) Challenge ‘Em to a Fight
No, I’m not suggesting you get into a scuffle over her on the show floor. I’m suggesting you challenge her to a duel in the latest videogame being debuted on the floor… and let her win. Or just don’t cry like a baby when she schools you because most likely, she’s better at it than you anyway. You can both use this opportunity to let each other know how good you are with your hands from hours and hours on Xbox Live.
1) Keep It Simple
If you’re a girl, stand in one place for more than 5 minutes. Seriously.
If you’re a guy, ask her if she knows what time the Nathan Fillion panel starts.