Miscellaneous, Tech

UK Politician Has Watched Avatar Too Much, Thinks He’s Impregnated Alien Cat Queen



And here I thought the Iron Sheik liked to put himself into fan fiction.

Married father-of-three Simon Parkes, who represents Stakesby on Whitby Town Council, said his wife had rowed with him after revealing he had a child called Zarka with an alien he refers to as the Cat Queen.

The 53-year-old driving instructor said he has sexual relations with the alien about four times a year.

[“rowed” = UK English for “argued”]

It’s notable that he represents Whitby, which you may remember as the town in Bram Stoker’s Dracula in which Lucy Westenra got a secret night visitor of her own. Or as Francis Ford Coppola chose to depict it, wolf-fucking.

This isn’t beastiality, though, because according to Parkes, he himself is half-alien, having been mothered by a 9-foot tall green woman with eight fingers.

He’s upset at people who think these beliefs in any way affect his ability to do his job, despite the fact that he thinks men in black are following him everywhere. It’s survey time – if you agreed with the guy’s politics, would you let a little thing like imaginary alien sex interfere with your willingness to vote for him?

Check out video of him after the jump.

h/t James Lynch via HuffPo