The 10 Best Freakazoid! Episodes
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?Freakazoid!, the third cartoon produced by Steven Spielberg for Warner Bros. (after Tiny Toon Adventures and Animaniacs) may remain the most obscure of them all, but it may also have been the most ambitious. Initially conceived by Batman: The Animated Series co-creator Bruce Timm and producer/writer Paul Dini as a Spider-Man-esque, dark but funny teenage hero, Spielberg and Tiny Toons/Animaniacs creator Tom Ruegger spun it into a show brimming with increasingly crazy pop-culture references and some of the most rewarding gags for nerds anywhere.
When nerdy teenager Dexter Douglas gets zapped by a faulty computer chip and endowed with the information overload of the Internet (this was before Wikipedia, mind you), he turned into Freakazoid, a blue-skinned, wild-haired bundle of energy who faced a dastardly rogue’s gallery with traditional superpowers and grin-inducing wit and charm. With a bevy of lovable sidekicks, including no-nonsense butler Professor Jones and some-nonsense police Sgt. Mike Cosgrove, Freakazoid also defended the airwaves from boring after-school entertainment for two short but sweet seasons.
Fifteen years later, Freakazoid! still maintains a devoted cult following, most recently rewarded by the release of the complete series on DVD over 2008 and 2009. This countdown of some of the best moments in the show’s history is infinitely better than — dare we say it? — poo gas!
10) The Huntsman in “Terror Palace”
Freakazoid! had its share of great side characters, but the most giggle-inducing was one of the show’s painfully one-note superheroes on the side. The Huntsman, with his gleaming teeth and Charlton Heston-esque demeanor, was a meek hunter given heroic powers for saving an elf in the forest. But whenever the Horn of Urgency is sounded, it constantly turns out to be a false alarm, causing him to walk away dejectedly. Next time you miss a Comic-Con panel, console yourself with the Huntsman’s iconic catch phrase: “Darn the luck, darn.” I can’t guarantee it’ll work, but it’s better than kicking a trash can in defeat.
9) A Matter of Love
Before he tied a bunch of balloons to his house in Up, Ed Asner proved a rather hilarious voice actor as Cosgrove, Freakazoid’s policeman pal who never let duty in the way of a trip to get a mint or watch a bear ride a motorcycle with his superhero pal. This time, though, he stands Freakazoid up to go out with his new girlfriend, a cosmetics magnate who is not all she’s cracked up to be. Not only is it a great turn by Asner, but it leads to one of the better running gags of the second season: Freakazoid’s consistently terrified butler Professor Jones, voiced by Jonathan Harris, essentially reprising Lost in Space‘s sniveling Dr. Jonathan Smith for the Saturday morning set.
And seriously: try not to smile when yelling “HUGGBEES!” You can’t.
8) Relax-O-Vision
Sick of all the unsavory behavior on television? So was H.A. Futterman, monotonous Professor of Broadcast Standards for Kids WB, who implemented a bevy of “calming, mirthful images” in place of every offensive punch, kick and smooch in one Freakazoid! segment. Ever the First Amendment absolutist, Freakazoid ultimately gave the censor a taste of his own medicine, without blowing the animation budget for the episode!
7) And Fan Boy is His Name
Sometimes Freakazoid had to deal with less pressing issues than saving the world. Case in point this episode, where he sought peace and quiet far away from Fan Boy, who is exactly the kind of gag you’d expect him to be. Stephen Furst, known for his turn as Flounder in Animal House and Vir Cotto in four seasons of Babylon 5, lent his note-perfect vocal talents to the show, but you’ve got to wonder what self-respecting nerd would freak out over Mark Hamill without batting an eyelash at Harlan Ellison.
6) The Tomb of Invisibo
Freakazoid and Cosgrove (with a little help from ever-eager announcer Joe Leahy) square off against a slightly surly pharaoh with the power of invisibility and a staff that can harness electricity. That obnoxiously catchy theme to Invisibo was actually nominated for an Emmy; the late, great Richard Stone’s main title theme would win two years prior.
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5) Two Against Freak
A mishap with telekinesis sidelines Freakazoid while Cosgrove and mentor Roddy MacStew (voiced by Craig Ferguson) attempt to rescue a priceless jewel from cultured villain Cave Guy and his main squeeze Cobra Girl (did I mention they have a COPS-esque camera crew filming their exploits?). To do so, they’ll have to go through a dilapidated theme park and endure the greatest evil the series ever offered: poo gas! Or, as it’s known in Scotland, crud vapors.
4) The Freakazoid
Our hero is tricked into by the nefarious, brain-headed bad guy The Lobe into leaving him alone, enabling him to take over the city. Freakazoid’s arch-enemy was voiced with evil glee by nerd icon David Warner; while he was certainly nefarious as David Lincoln in Waxwork and the Master Control Program in Tron, there’s something magical about his sneering, hysterically absurd Lobe, who’s so evil he doesn’t even bother to supply some meat with the food dehydrator he gives Freakazoid for his birthday. Not even his enjoyment of Johnny Mathis can redeem him!
3) Hero Boy
Armando Gutierrez, whose company was responsible for the faulty chip that created Freakazoid, was one of the show’s most formidable villains — one bent on revenge against the superhero who turned him into an outcast. Fitting, then, that the Khan-like bad guy was voiced by none other than Khan himself, Ricardo Montalban. This may have been Montalban’s silliest appearance in the show, distracting Freakazoid with sandwiches and stock footage of women kissing chimps before being thwarted by a bevy of Astro Boy parodies. Laugh with me!
2) Dance of Doom
One of Freakazoid!‘s best episodes may have been its first, which set the off-the-wall tone for the show pretty well. From the start, writer/voice actor Paul Rugg is an unhinged genius as our hero, alternately charming and sophisticated with the ladies and quick with arcane impersonations of Jerry Lewis. What makes his work on “Dance of Doom” even more special is that it was a scratch vocal he laid down until another voice could be cast as Freakazoid, until Spielberg heard it and suggested Rugg fill the void permanently.
1) Normadeus
The team behind Freakazoid! must have known their days were numbered when they drafted the second season finale. Their last episode may have been the most goofily ambitious in the show’s run: The Lobe leads the entire rogue’s gallery in destroying Freakazoid by capturing master carpenter Norm Abram and forcing him to create a device powerful enough to destroy our hero for good. Send-ups of Amadeus and parlor mysteries, digressions about pixie people and a musical finale (set to the strains of “We’ll Meet Again”) are jam-packed into 22 minutes of pure, zany delight. We didn’t meet Freakazoid! again afterward, but we have our memories. And we can’t get too emotional; Cosgrove would just tell us to cut it out.
