Know Your Drunken Damage: Iron Man or Robert Downey, Jr.?

By Zach Oat

When Robert Downey, Jr., was cast as billionaire industrialist Tony Stark, a.k.a. the invincible Iron Man, in the live-action Iron Man comic adaptation (due out May 2), geeks everywhere had a collective intake of breath to cry ?foul??then realized that it was actually a pretty good call. Not only is Downey actually a talented actor (a rarity in most superhero movies), his life eerily parallels the armored superhero?s, in that both have successful careers that were nearly thrown off track due to substance abuse problems. We pulled some drug- and alcohol-fueled mishaps from each man?s biography and mixed them together?can you separate Robert?s downers from Stark?s raving madness?

1. Was found in an alley in Los Angeles and arrested for being under the influence of a controlled substance. IRON MAN OR DOWNEY?

2. While under the influence, wandered into neighbor?s house by mistake and fell asleep on a child?s bed. IRON MAN OR OR DOWNEY?

3. When questioned by his butler about a floozy he had brought home, made disrespectful comments that led to butler?s resignation. IRON MAN OR DOWNEY?

4. Accidentally blew a hole through the chest of a U.N. ambassador, then spent the night drinking whiskey and sleeping in the street.
IRON MAN OR DOWNEY?

5. Was let out of a drug rehabilitation program for one day specifically to shoot a music video. IRON MAN OR DOWNEY?

6. Attempting to lift derailed train car, misjudged the weight and dropped it, causing chlorine gas leak and evacuation of everyone within a 5-mile radius. IRON MAN OR DOWNEY?

7. Was arrested for possession of cocaine and methamphetamines at the luxurious Merv Griffin Resort in Palm Springs. IRON MAN OR DOWNEY?

8. Exited high-rise office building through a window, but forgot to open it first. IRON MAN OR DOWNEY?

9. While addressing the U.N. in a state of inebriation, said several derogatory things about foreign delegates. IRON MAN OR DOWNEY?

10. Lived with actress Sarah Jessica Parker for several years in the 1980s. IRON MAN OR DOWNEY?

ANSWERS: 1. Downey. 2. Downey. 3. Iron Man. 4. Iron Man. 5. Downey. 6. Iron Man. 7. Downey. 8. Iron Man. 9. Iron Man. 10. Downey.