Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Boozy Vegetable Juice

I like to drink as much the functionally alcoholic nation of Japan, but even I have to say this goes too far. Asahi has released a series?not one, but a goddamn series?of alcoholic vegetable juices to…actually, I have no idea what kind of depraved but health-conscious person would drink one of these things. As Japan Probe points out, the drinks generally contain 20% vegetable juice, 20% fruit juice, and 4% alcohol, and come in the following flavors:

? Carrot
? Asparagus
? Red Pepper
? Pumpkin
? Cabbage
? Grapefruit
? Lemon
? Pineapple
? Banana

Please excuse me while I throw up all over myself.