Seriously, a Transformer WITH A F#$%ING CANE
You’re looking at the toy of Jetfire, from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. You might be pleased to know that the toy does combine with Optimus Prime, which means he’ll likely do the same in the movie (although the idea of Optimus combining with another robot kind of makes him less cool, in my opinion). You might be less pleased to look on the lower left, where the robot — let me restate that, THE FUCKING ROBOT — has a cane.
A goddamn cane.
Because he’s an elderly robot. Which means he’ll almost certainly be an incontinent robot as well, and will involuntarily pee on John Turturro. Maybe all the Autobots will be on John Turturro. They can just have a big piss party in the middle of the movie. and then Michael Bay can come to each theater, and piss in each audience members mouth directly. That would be awesome.
FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK (Via Tformers; thanks to Krik K for the tip)
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.