Summer Movie Trifecta: G.I. Joe, Transformers 2, Iron Man 2

? The new trailer for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is out, and I really don’t have the words to describe how much I hate the accelerator suits. It’s basically turned G.I. Joe into another shitty Matrix rip-off. Oh, and I’d like to point out that in the live-action movie, Cobra has destroyed the Eiffel Tower, while in Resolute, they fucking blew up Moscow. Advantage: Resolute.

? Here’s the good Transformers 2 trailer I promised you the other day. In regards to the argument raging in the comments of that article, I’m with the haters (obviously) — yes, the original G1 Transformers cartoon could be goofy as shit, but it could also be awesome. Frankly, I think the Transformers had better characterization than G.I. Joe or Thundercats, but in the movie they had no personalities at all. Also, Spike was a damn sidekick in the cartoon; would you really rather watch the Beef’s first days in college, or, you know… giant robots?

? And here’s the first pic from Iron Man 2, which I wasn’t going to bother with until I saw all the Iron Man armors behind Stark. The fact that the classic comic was is in there makes me tingly. See, G.I. Joe and Transformers? You don’t have to be slavishly devoted to the original. Just understand the original, and throw us a goddamn bone.