Okay. If you’re not one of the few dozen people who have emailed me or tweeted me this news, here’s the deal — the rumor is that director Stephen Sommers has been fired from the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra movie because it sucks so damn bad. Since filming has finished, all this means is that he’s been locked out of the editing room so that someone can try and salvage the material into something approaching a decent film.
Unfortunately, as much as the G.I. Joe movie looks to be a nightmare of feces and dog-rape and you would think reasonable people would’ve fire the hack responsible yesterday, it appears to only be a rumor — and an already debunked one at that. Latinofilm has talked to producer Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, who says not only that has Sommers not been fired, but that the movie is actually tracking very well among test audiences.
So there’s not much hope, alas. I do have an email out to Geek Throat, just to be sure, but this is the first time I’ve emailed him for info, so lord knows when or if he’ll be able to reply to me. (Update: Yeah, Geek Throat says is ain’t true. Fiddleshits.) Just cross your fingers and hope someone in charge tells somebody to CG a goddamn blue mask over Crunchberry Commander.