U.S. Retaliates Against Japanese Robo-Aggression with Corpse-Eating Robots

And we’re still fucked, because while Japan is trouncing us with functional full-size Gundams and samurai in power armor, we’ll almost certainly fuck up and accidentally program the corpse-eating robots to eat us, too. From Fox News:

Maryland company under contract to the Pentagon is working on a steam-powered robot that would fuel itself by gobbling up whatever organic material it can find — grass, wood, old furniture, even dead bodies.

Robotic Technology Inc.’s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot — that’s right, “EATR” — “can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment (and other organically-based energy sources), as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal, cooking oil, and solar) when suitable,” reads the company’s Web site.

That “biomass” and “other organically-based energy sources” wouldn’t necessarily be limited to plant material — animal and human corpses contain plenty of energy, and they’d be plentiful in a war zone.

I really, really hope there’s a dial on the console of this thing which has the settings “Ground,” “Ground and Corpses,” and “Corpses Only.” That would be magnificent. Almost as magnificent as when EATR decides it would be far more efficient to kill all humans himself instead of just waiting for them to die on their own. Yum! Thanks to Kevin L. and everyone else who sent this in.