DVD Day: September 8th, 2009

?Goddamn there’s a lot of crap this week. If you’re at all interested in single-disc releases of Power Rangers RPM, Goosebumps, or Alvin and the Chipmunks, go search through this week’s releases yourself. Here’s everything else.

? Fringe: The Complete First Season
Although I still contend that the Fringe division is the most understaffed, least professional section of the FBI, I have to admit the show’s mad scientist-meets-X-Files had me hooked. I really enjoyed the first season cliffhanger as well. I just hope they really pony up on the threat that they’ve alluded to, if not next season, in the third.

? Crank 2: High Voltage
I’m told this is pretty much the ultimate action movie parody and action movie all at the same time. I’m very much looking forward to it.

? Bleach Movie 2: The DiamondDust Rebellion
Some nicely animated crap that has nothing to do with the overarching Bleach storyline (although to all reports, the overarching Bleach storyline also has nothing to do with the overarching Bleach storyline anymore either).

? Bedknobs & Broomsticks
Another re-issue with a tad more special features than the 2001 edition.

? The Postman
On Blu-ray. Is Waterworld out on Blu-ray yet? Because I would think seeing Kevin Costner drinking his own pee in highest definition would truly be a sight to behold.

? Catwoman
Also on Blu-ray, meaning you can watch Warner Bros. piss away an entire superhero franchise in highest def.

? Rise of the Gargoyles
“The mysterious trail of mangled human corpses is only the bloody
beginning for the secret terror buried beneath a condemned Parisian
church. Suddenly unleashed for their subterranean crypt – and very much
alive – the ancient, winged creatures have risen on a mission of
destruction. What’s happening is not just a killing spree. I’s Judgment Day!” Hee hee!

? Super Mario Bros.: Super Mario Mix
Good title, but it’s only four episodes from Super Mario Bros. Super Show, SMB 3 and Super Mario World. I wouldn’t bother.

? Inspector Gadget: The Go Go Gadget Collection
I don’t know what the hell this thing is. It’s one disc, but supposedly 220 minutes, or I guess 10 episodes. Just so you know.

…

Okay, one Alvin and the Chipmunks release, just because it’s hilarious.

? Alvin and the Chipmunks Go to the Movies: Star Wreck
Here’s the product description: “Funny things are happening where no Chipmunk has dared to go! Alvin
stars as Captain Dirk, commander of the S.S. Boobyprize; Simon is Mr.
Speck, and Brittany is Uhaha. Together, they must rescue fellow
crewmember Dr. McRoy (Theodore) after he gets abducted by a weird
extraterrestrial family! This high-flying spoof of the box office smash will leave you beaming with laughter!”

This sounds zany as fuck all, but it made me stop in cold horror — did the maniacs who own Alvin actually make a new cartoon movie in 2009? did they actually make a parody of the new Trek movie? The answer is no, of course not. This is a shitty generic Trek movie parody from the ’80s, and the Alvin owners are just fucking lying. Which also explains the DVD’s cover:
?
I think it’s hilarious that Alvin and the Chipmunks is trying to trade in on the new Trek movie’s success. I don’t know what world the Alvin people live in where they think Star Trek fans are going to pass by this DVD and think to themselves “Well, I enjoyed the new Trek movie so fucking much I HAVE to see Alvin, Simon and Theodore’s irreverent take on this new masterpiece!” but it’s not a world I live in.