Breaking: The IPhone Wins
Why? Not because of its touch-screen. Not because of its full internet access nonsense. But because it now has what is effectively the Star Wars Arcade game as an app. Look at the video, which I purloined from Agent M! It has blowing up TIE Fighters! Shooting guns in the trench! Dodging those large bars that didn’t appear anywhere in the movie! And now, for the first time, dodging Darth Vader’s shockingly inaccurate laser shots (should’ve used the Force, motherfucker)! Apparently the game isn’t available quite yet, but suffice it to say, it’s all I ever wanted to do with a phone. This is truly the golden age, my friends.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.