J. Jonah Jameson Was So Right It’s Crazy


?The headline for tomorrow’s Daily Bugle will read “Spider-Man: Threat and Menace,” and frankly, I don’t think anyone will be able to contradict it. Not only has the neighborhood’s increasingly unfriendly wallcrawler punched a dude in L.A. last Friday, but now he’s robbed a Papa Murphy’s pizzeria in Tacoma, WA, at gun-point yesterday. From the Star-Tribune:

robbery occurred about 7:10 p.m. at Papa Murphy’s, 2024 Sixth Ave.,
Tacoma police spokesman Mark Fulghum said Tuesday. The bandit robbed
the employees, then fled. No one was hurt. A police dog searched for the
robber but did not find him.

Clearly, One More Day has scarred Spidey more than any of us realized. Plus, this is just after Spider-Man robbed a bank in Southlake, TX — that’s him on a Bank of America security cam above. From the Star-Telegram:

Bank of America employees told police Friday that two men wearing Spider-Man masks had robbed the bank. But
after reviewing photos from security cameras, FBI investigators now
think one robber was a Spider-Woman, police said Wednesday.

robbers entered the bank in the 2000 block of West Southlake Boulevard
about 9:30 a.m. One jumped onto a counter and the other threatened
employees and customers with a handgun.

Not that I believe Jessica Drew is necessarily innocent, but didn’t Ben Reilly just start popping back up in the comics? Are we sure this isn’t a new part of the clone saga? And furthermore, how the fuck did Spider-Man webswing from Texas to Washington? There’s like over 2000 miles, and I don’t know how many tall buildings are really on the way.