Hugh Jackman Coaching a Boxing Robot Caption Contest: And the Winners Are…


?Not bad, if I do say so myself! The pic of Jackman coaching a boxing robot wasn’t exactly the most ridiculous pic ever, but as I suspected, you guys came up with plenty of caption gold in this weekend’s contest. I’ll likely be doing this again — and to the guy who was not happy that TR would sink so low as do to a caption contest, my apologies, but I’ve been running a contest a week for more than two years. I just want to give you lovable bastards more opportunities to win TR shirts. Is that so wrong? It is? Well, who gives a shit, it’s my site. HMs and winners after the jump.

Let’s mention some honor, shall we?

P3anut said:

The target area is only two meters wide. It’s a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you’ll have to use proton rocket punch.

Sean said:

“You follow me, you’re gonna piss–oh, you already do. Well then you’re gonna crap–oh God, that’s a fuckton worse than thunder. That is just awful. Just…Just hit that guy!”

MeowSkywalker said:

Listen Rockem… Sockem over there just slept with your wife.

shaun said:

Robot: [to Hugh]He’s not human. He’s like a piece of iron.

mescatraz33 said:

“Tonight your opponent is my career! And I want you to beat it into the ground!”

LadySheeana said:

“See those wrecking balls hanging between his legs? Go for them.”

CourtneyLovesCupcakes said:

01001011 01101001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011
00100000 01110011 01101000 01101001 01101110 01111001 00100000 01101101
01100101 01110100 01100001 01101100 00100000 01100001 01110011 01110011

SFHatter said:

“Alright Mega Man, This guy is called FLASHMAN. You remember that METAL BLADE attack you got off of METAL MAN? Use it here and this will be a cinch. You got this Megs, YOURE THE BLUE BOMBER”

Tanner said:


oddgosh said:

“Alright, Potimus, you gotta get in there and pretend that guys`s Egatro and shake down his boron buttocks.”

D. Highmore said:

“Hey, look at that fucking owl. That’s the biggest damn owl I’ve ever seen.”

Skemono said:

10: Hit him!
20: Goto 10!

King Psyz is chunky but funky said:

One shall stand, and one shall fall… No really… that’s the rules, now get out there.

MaxtotheMax said:

“I’m the best at what I do, and what I do isn’t going to be very entertaining.”

Mechabeast said:

? In the world of competitive robo-boxing its all about being number 00110001.
? You’re all central processing unit, kid.
? He’s cut! You see! He’s not a machine, he’s just…oh shit, you’re right.

Snoodle said:

“Now get out there and show me what Hal 9000 died for!”

Necromancer said:

“Thanks, you say the exit’s over there?”

Unemployed in Greenland said:

? Look, I know you can’t see, but John Turturro is standing directly beneath them. Just hit him there! Game-set-match!
? I want you to hit that tin can so hard that he fills the plot holes in Transformers (2009)!

Tyler Slayton said:

? “Excuse me, giant robot, do you know if that gas station cashes paychecks?”
? “Rock ’em. But don’t you dare sock ’em. None of that fancy shit.”

JOE said:

“You see that guy, he’s not wearing a robot costume, is he? Now take this stupid thing off.”

Kegs said:

Haha! You’ve won this round Robot, Haha! But your next fighter is this nano-bot on the tip of my pointing finger, Haha!

Jason said:

No, that kanji on the other guy’s arm means “power”. Yours means “tampon”.

Nim_AK said:

In “Million Dollar Baby II”, Maggie awakes inside a powerful fighting robot, and teams with Frankies great, great grandson to take down those responsible for her death…The evil corporation “Everlast” and their deadly stools.

JPyke said:

It’s the Optical-Receptors /
of the Tiger-tron! /
It’s the >90% /
of the Combat-Simulation!

Heenz said:


Scooter Atreides said:

Where’s my precocious Japanese boy in little pants? I SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR A PRECOCIOUS JAPANESE BOY IN LITTLE PANTS!

KagatoAMV said:

Sports item, circa 1974: Battling Maxo, B2, heavyweight, accompanied by his manager and handler, arrives in Maynard, Kansas, for a scheduled six-round bout. Battling Maxo is a robot, or, to be exact, an android – definition: ‘an automaton resembling a human being.’ Only these automatons have been permitted in the ring since prizefighting was legally abolished in 1968. This is the story of that scheduled six-round bout- more specifically, the story of two men shortly to face that remorseless truth: that no law can be passed which will abolish cruelty or desperate need – nor, for that matter, blind animal courage. Location for the facing of said truth: a small, smoke-filled arena just this side of the Twilight Zone.

Bunny Fu said:


The Doctor said:

? There he is! That’s the twat waffle that convinced me to do this movie!
? That robo-fucker over there was in those shitty Transformers movies from the early 21st century… You know what to do.
? …I was about to say something inspirational and then I realized something: You’re a goddamn robot. Just… I don’t know. Go hit shit. I’m gonna call my agent.

Winners after the jump.


Winner time!

SpecterM91 said:

“Join the Nintendo Fun Club, Mech!”

SpecterM91 nailed this early, and honestly, there was no better entry in the entire contest. Nerdy, absurd and clever. The “Mech” instead of “Mac” is just the icing on the cake.

DoctorSmashy said:

You can either sit here moping like an Autobot with an Astromech up his anal gallery or you can get back up and win this game like the drunk Yoda your are! NOW GO SHOW THAT CHUMP WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS!

DoctorSmashy finally gets his long-awaited shirt with a barrage of apt TR references, finely crafted into a stirring speech one might actually give a boxing robot.

Caveat Emptor said:

Go out there and break the first law!

More clever than funny, but very, very clever and in the nerdiest of ways.

tvtastegood said:

Yeah that’s Rob and you know what? He has pics of your wife TOPLESS as his blog’s LOGO!!!

Not an inside TR reference, but quite the TR meta-reference, and an incredibly apt one at that. Now I can’t stop thinking that all the topless robot pics I publish are of various robots’ wives, and that makes me giggle incessantly. Because I am an evil bastard. Thanks to everyone who entered, yadda yadda, you know the drill.