Microsoft Does Not Understand I Play Videogames to Not Exert Myself

Yet more news from E3: Microsoft’s motion-control thingie, formerly called Project Natal, is now called Kinect. As you can see above, it’s much like the Wii except it’s all done through the sensor bar, so no controller is needed. I guess that is an advance in one regard, but it wasn’t the controller that made me get tired of the Wii, it was all that arm moving that was getting in the way of my compulsive masturbating tiring. Very tiring.

The Wii is temperamental enough with a controller; I admittedly have doubts about how well the Kinect will read people, although it certainly does seem to have no trouble monitoring three members of the ridiculously awkward family in the video above. We’ll see, I guess, when the Kinect drops on November 4th. Oh! Besides the obvious workout games, apparently there’s going to be a Star Wars lightsaber game for the Kinect as well — but like the others, it doesn’t use a controller. Look, Microsoft, I appreciate the effort, I really do. But I feel stupid enough when I pretend a cardboard tube is a lightsaber — doing the same thing while holding nothing? That sounds too awkward even for me.