Yet more news from E3: Microsoft’s motion-control thingie, formerly called Project Natal, is now called Kinect. As you can see above, it’s much like the Wii except it’s all done through the sensor bar, so no controller is needed. I guess that is an advance in one regard, but it wasn’t the controller that made me get tired of the Wii, it was all that arm moving that was getting in the way of my compulsive masturbating tiring. Very tiring.
The Wii is temperamental enough with a controller; I admittedly have doubts about how well the Kinect will read people, although it certainly does seem to have no trouble monitoring three members of the ridiculously awkward family in the video above. We’ll see, I guess, when the Kinect drops on November 4th. Oh! Besides the obvious workout games, apparently there’s going to be a Star Wars lightsaber game for the Kinect as well — but like the others, it doesn’t use a controller. Look, Microsoft, I appreciate the effort, I really do. But I feel stupid enough when I pretend a cardboard tube is a lightsaber — doing the same thing while holding nothing? That sounds too awkward even for me.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.