I Think the Sonic Fan Fic Writers Have Infilitrated Sega

So before I had watched this video preview for the Xbox Kinect game Sonic Free Riders, and had only seen a screencap, I decided I’d post it and make fun of it. Then I saw a little but of the gameplay and the ridiculous models/actors, and realized it wasn’t that bad. Sure, it’s stupid to have Sonic on a skateboard/surfboard/hoverboard/whatever-board and not running, like Sonic is supposed to. Sure it involves swaying like an idiot, which I hate, but mostly because I’m fat and lazy and often too tired to move my thumbs sometimes. So, I decided Free Riders was pretty innocuous… until to the two players were forced to hold hands — to make Sonic and Tails hold hands — and perform moves and tricks and hugs and oh god Sonic is going to rape Tails and that means the guy is going to rape the girl while the Kinect just watches. This is a bad, bad scene, people. Seriously, the next game will be Sonic: Free Ballers, just you watch.