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?A Dance with Dragons exists, and it’s here. In my apartment. In my hands. Even Topless Kitty is excited to read it. Two things: 1) The book officially comes out tomorrow, I only got mine early because I’m so close to an Amazon shipment center. I assume most bookstores will be putting their out tomorrow morning, although maybe some stores are open at midnight. I don’t know. No, I can’t be bothered to check. I have A Dance with Dragons to read. Everything else can fuck off.

2) And most importantly: DON’T ANYBODY SPOIL ANY PART OF THIS BOOK ON TOPLESS ROBOT. Not in this article’s comments, not anywhere. When I’m done with the book, I’ll post a review and that will be the Official Topless Robot Dance with Dragons Spoiler-Filled Discussion Thread. If I see anything posted anywhere else — or, god forbid, you spoil something for me — I will bring down as much wrath as a fat website moderator possibly can upon your head, or at least your IP address.

All right, that’s it. Sniff you jerks later, I’ve got reading to do.