Satan Sighs in Relief as Live-Action Akira Movie Is Only Mostly Dead

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?Last week The Hollywood Reporter said that Warner Bros.’ live-action Akira adaptation was dead, and there was much rejoicing. Then Variety had to shit in everyone’s Cheerios and report this:

At a time when blockbuster budgets are facing extra scrutiny, Warner
Bros. has halted pre-production on its live-action “Akira” remake, which
Jaume Collet-Serra is set to direct. Studio confirmed Thursday that it shut down the project’s Vancouver offices as the creative team reworks the story.

As for “Akira,” which has only “Tron: Legacy” star Garrett Hedlund
locked, the studio is by no means pulling the plug. Insiders said a new
writer will probably be brought on over the next two weeks to focus on
character elements and particularly on the pic’s look. While no one’s
yet been offered the job, studio is said to be eyeing Jonah Nolan (“The
Dark Knight,” “The Dark Knight Rises”) and Michael Green (“Green

WB prexy Jeff Robinov met with the “Akira” team to
discuss several issues, including who would land the second lead
opposite Hedlund. Choices had been narrowed down to Michael Pitt and
Dane DeHaan, but the studio wanted to wait until after the holidays to
decide. Now that decision will be delayed further.

Hopefully it will be delayed until the mountains crumble into the sea, but WB does seem pretty determined to make an incredibly shitty Akira movie that won’t come close to recouping its $60-70 million budget. It’d be kind of admirable if it didn’t make me want to punch every single WB studio executive in the dick.