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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Is a Sick Misrepresentation of Our Beloved 16th Presisdent

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Is a Sick Misrepresentation of Our Beloved 16th Presisdent

By June 19, 2012 Miscellaneous, Movies 0 Comment

No, not because it portrays him fighting vampires. That’s fucking awesome. It’s because Linkin Park has made an official music video for the film.

Only watch the above video if you 1) want to be filled with rage, 2) want to sit through three minutes of godawful music to see a few tiny scenes of Mary Elizabeth Winstead in the movie, or 3) hate yourself. Goddamn it. I may not always be swayed by patriotic jingoism, but I love my country, but I will not stand for this kind of horrible debasement of an American icon. Pretending that Abraham Lincoln would have tolerated being associated with goddamn Linkin Park in any way? That’s deplorable. Treasonous, even. Clearly, the only rational solution is to send every single member of Linkin Park to Guantanamo and then nuke the island from orbit. 

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In summary, EVERYBODY WHO DOESN’T WANT TO MURDER THE MEMBERS OF LINKIN PARK IS A TRAITOR TO AMERICA AND MAKES THIS EAGLE CRY (Via FilmDrunk)

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About The Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.