Bad Milo and Gift Guide Winners



Why am I not surprised that an ass-demon contest would be one of the hardest to judge once I got you folks thinking in that direction.

Many good ideas. Many victory-worthy ones. It sucks that I could only choose a single winner, because on any given day, the mood could have struck me slightly differently.

I wish I could give you all ass-demons. All but one of you will have to settle for the close simulation of your next Taco Bell meal.

So who would you curse with an ass demon if you could?


I’d pick Sandra Bullock but only for a single day. The day in question would be March 2nd 2014. I have nothing against her, I just find the idea of her having a demon up her ass when she’s at the Oscars to be really, really amusing.

Kevin Arnold in The Wonder Years. The narration by Daniel Stern would be so gloriously insane.

I will nominate myself to receive this ass-demon. Hopefully this ass demon will make my current ass demon.
Reason 1: if the two ass demons fight, maybe they will leave my ass alone
Reason 2: too busy fighting each other, ass is left alone
Reason 3: gang up on my ass and it proves an effective weight loss technique

(Sorry if this is a duplicate, had an issue posting, gonna improve the post just in case.)

I generally answer every “who would you inflict heinous harm on?” question the same way; Harmony Korine. He’s simultaneously so brash and out there that I find him disgusting and so timid and awkward that I feel sorry for him. But beyond that conundrum, he’s a director who’s managed to gain fame and fortune by filming he and his friends running around in what’s meant to be MY neck of the woods – and trust me, down south we don’t really have nearly as many rubber faced old people and soap eating rednecks. Surprising, but true. – making not so tender love to garbage. But despite all that, he’s heralded as a visionary.

So yeah, Harmony Korine. But I almost hate to send Milo into his clown hole, little guy seems pretty sweet and I’d hate for him to tucker himself out halfway through. He’d have his work cut out for him, Korine’s so far up his own ass he’s practically inside out.

Without a doubt, the best person to have an ass demon would be Jamie Lee Curtis. Just imagine the blooper reel for those Activia commercials! While she is talking about her regular BMs thanks to Activia, right on cue, Milo pops out like a healthy, brown butt baby! It would be amazing.

I’d have to go with M. Night Shyamalan, because if there’s anybody who’s use to pulling things, like plot twists, out of his ass, it’s him

And he’s already used to handling crap after the Airbender fiasco…

Zoe Deschanel for being the biggest idiot asking her iphone if it’s raining while she’s standing at the Window watching the rain in that t.v. commercial!Edit

Marc Webb –
Because he needs inspiration for another Spider-Man villain.

Tom Cruise.

He’s lonely and needs the –ahem– love since Katie left him.

michael fucking bay.
because then at least there’d be one functional brain in that body.

I curse whichever Katie Couric-style TV personality or guest decides to do another on-air colonoscopy. Aside from the fact that this effectively punishes whoever the hell decided that on-air colonoscopies are a good idea, can you imagine an entire nation tuning in & s***ting themselves when that ass demon materializes & goes “Surprise!”

Winner (and gift guide winners) next page…

Bad Milo goes to y2jbrak, because I decided I want to see this happen too.

Tyler Perry
Cause even if it didn’t stop his shitty cross-dressing movies maybe he could dress up the ass demon too. And a cross-dressing ass demon IS funny!


Battle Beasts TPB – TheRealDE12

Walking Dead Minimates – bladeguy

Iron Man & Hulk DVD – Skrag2112

Mjolnir bottle opener – bloodybarrage

Winners, please email me your info. Please note that Bad Milo will not ship until Jan. 21st.