Blu-ray Today: Robocop, Freddy, Machete, Shia and Bad Milo Are Together at last



Bad Milo There are two types of people in the world. Those who don’t like movies about ass demons, and Topless Robot readers. This educational film might just teach you a good solid lesson in colon cleansing, removing some of the waste-full times of your day. Or you could literally laugh your butt off.

Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy Like the DVD extra you should have been given before but never were, this comprehensive documentary looks at the making of every Nightmare on Elm Street installment via interviews with all the major players: Wes Craven, Robert Englund, Jack Sholder, Chuck Russell, Heather Langenkamp, Clu Gulager (who turns everything into a dirty joke), every single actor that played a Dream Warrior who isn’t named Patricia Arquette, etc. Yes, they talk about the (unintentional?) gay subtext of part 2, the fact that David Warner was the original choice for Freddy, and the fact that indeed, pepperoni pizza was the inspiration for Krueger’s face. It’ll make you want to run out and buy the originals, then feel ashamed that you didn’t already have them. (Full disclosure: I’m pretty sure some of my friends were on the crew, and while we’re at it, Jack Sholder used to teach at the same college as my dad. But it’s not like I wasn’t a Freddy fan long before ever knowing them.)

Robocop: 4K Remastered Edition – The unrated director’s cut gets an all-new transfer, most of the extras from previous editions, and a new featurette from a recent UCLA anniversary screening. And it’s $7.99 on Amazon as of this writing. If you don’t own this sci-fi classic-in-every-way that is consistently one of my two or three favorite films of all time, log the fuck on and grab that shiz for under $8.

Machete Kills Did you ever have a camera when you were a kid, and film movies that starred just your action figures? Robert Rodriguez is still doing that, but his “action figures” are now famous actors, though his cinematography and storytelling is not appreciably better than that of your average kid with toys. More enjoyable than Machete simply because there’s no longer any pretense that this is meant to be either (a) coherent or (b) any kind of accurate grindhouse homage, Machete Kills is worth a cheap rental just to see Mel Gibson playing a character who’s both Cobra Commander and Destro in everything but name, and owner of a Star Wars Landspeeder (which is called out by name).

Die, Monster, Die! Boris Karloff uses the power of a radioactive meteorite to create mutants, because that’s what you do if you’re a character played by Boris Karloff.

Charlie Countryman Shia LaBeouf gets chased by a lot of people who want to kill him. Not a documentary…yet.

Cat People Paul Schrader’s hard-R remake of the classic 1942 horror about good-looking people who transform into killer panthers whenever they get aroused, and can only turn back after killing someone. Pussy problems, y’know.

Those are my top picks for this week. What would you add?