Ask Luke’s Mother-in-Law: Bone Claws, Social Media and Ear Hair


Luke’s mother-in-law is former LAPD, a licensed property appraiser and a self-described crazy cat lady. None of which has prepared her for TR readers. All questions and answers are real.

Hello friends, and happy almost Valentines Day. Luke said something a bit back that all of my dolls, collections etc are still in boxes – well providing proof that they are not, I have sent LYT a picture of dolls out of boxes.


Anyway,I was asked to tell a dating story this week. This is appropriate, as Valentine’s Day is approaching. One of the first dates that I had with my husband was up a Morton Bay fig tree. In the city where he lived at the time, there was this huge tree and the branches were such that it was pretty easy to climb. Now, my future husband decided he was not going to spend a lot of money on me until he figured out if I was a keeper or not. Keep in mind this was the same guy that, a few weeks prior, I broke his foot in an alley in skid row. The date cost a whole $2.00 (in 1980s money). He brought some cheese/crackers and a really cheap bottle of wine.

We climbed up into the tree to enjoy the view. Well, after a few minutes up the tree, a police car pulled in under the tree. Now we were stuck in the tree (it was a city tree) and they really did not like people up in the tree. So after several minutes passed we were getting bored, so we started dropping bits of cheese and crackers down on the police car. The officer got out and looked really puzzled about the cheese and crackers, but he luckily never looked up. So dates don’t have to be expensive, just creative. Yes, the dates did improve after this one.

Now to your questions:

Kyle A: Why are there some nerdy properties that I don’t like and some that I do? Can I even call myself a nerd at this point? What are the rules?

Yes, you most certainly can call yourself a nerd – loud and proud. I don’t like everything that is “nerdy,” but I still consider myself as one. I also like something that some nerds say they totally hate: The Big Bang Theory. I just love Sheldon – even named my turtle after him. I love Star Trek , not so much Star Wars. There are no rules to being a nerd other than that you need to have a passion for something in the nerd world, and boy, that gives us a lot of things to choose from.

William B: How do you keep a cat out of a box?

Well, it depends on the type of box. I certainly want my cat to go to its litter box early and often. If you don’t want a cat in a box then clean up your boxes and don’t leave them around for kitty to explore. I leave boxes all over the house and my kitties just love them. Basically I do it because I’m cheap and boxes are free cat toys.

daniel: if bone claws are part of wolverine’s mutation how come at the end of the first x-men film when rogue nearly killed him by absorbing his abilities she only got his healing factor and no bone claws

There is a difference between abilities and parts. The healing factor is an ability. The bone claws are a body part, i.e. parts is parts and abilities are abilities and the 2 don’t mix. If Rogue got all the parts it would have included Wolverine’s bad hair also.

troi: Is nerd culture as a whole cynical or idealistic?

Well, I feel it is idealistic. There is so much imagination in nerd culture, so much fun and fantasy. I see a lot of things in nerd culture that show good character and morals that people want to live up to. Truth, Justice and the American Way etc. There are struggles between good and evil and generally good wins.

mndrew: Why do birds, suddenly appear. Every time, she draws near?

Ah, the Carpenters. One of my favorite groups, even performed some of their songs at Disneyland many, many years ago. Anyone remember the Tomorrowland Terrace and the Golden Horseshoe? Anyway, I am getting off track. Maybe one of you is wearing something that attracts birds? What type of birds appear? Love birds, humming birds, robins might be ok. Screaming Eagles, hawks, and ravens could be an issue and a bad omen.

Gallen_Dugall: QUESTION! Recently I was doing battle with my greatest arch-nemesis (that is the “greatest” next to the tyranny of the Emperor Penguins of course) and it caused me to wonder aloud “Why do men even have ear hair in the first place, and when will someone find a way to rid us of this menace?”

Well, we all have ear hair, and it helps to keep things out of our ears. Frankly, I feel nose hair is worse. I guess you could use one of those little trimmers for nose hair on your ears, but just be careful. If it is exceptionally long maybe you could braid it and start a fashion statement.

latigid: Great great column.
So my question is this:
What is the best way to explain how social media sites work to someone unfamiliar with them without coming off as condescending even if its completely unintentional.
I ask this because my employers have their own website and knows tons about how to operate it but when trying to set up linked in facebook or twitter they get very frustrated and ask for my help

My guess would be that you are saying more to them then just sure, no problem when they ask for help. Rolling of the eyes is not acceptable, even if you think they are idiots in this aspect of doing things. Depending on how old they are, you are probably lucky that they even know how to run a web site. So at least half of the battle is over and done with. I don’t even know how to link my web site to facebook, twitter, etc. Guess what: I have to ask my daughter who is 25+ years younger than me. She started on a computer at 2, and me about 25. They, are probable trying, so next time they ask don’t go into a long lecture on social media, just say where would you like the link and do it – it will save you time and upset.

Have a great rest of the week, friends. Happy Valentine’s Day – hope you all have someone to give a great big hug. This is the first Valentines without my husband, but I still have my cats. Take care: until next week, keep the questions coming, love hearing from all of you. Hugs.

If you’d like to add your questions to the pile for Luke’s mother-in-law, leave them in comments below.