Weekend Hangover: 20 Stories You Might Have Missed 5-12-14

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From condoms to Constantine, we look at some of the stories you might not have caught over the weekend, as submitted by you and compiled with the help of Kyle LeClair.

Tipsters this week include SlyDante777, idontactuallylikepie, TImely_Flower-Hermit, Rx79immigrant84, franciebrady27, bostorket, troi, GreggoryBasore, Gallen_Dugall, kegs.

1. Oh Kaneda!

Hollywood’s various ill-advised Akira adaptations have all deservingly died, but this fan-made trailer absolutely nails the look and feel. Granted, that’s because it’s basically recreating existing scenes quite literally, and if somebody did a whole movie of that, history tells us it might not be as beloved as we’d think – heck, even the original animated movie took liberties in condensing the lengthy manga.

But damn, this is beautiful. No need to make the movie now – just watch the clip and imagine the rest, knowing that whatever somebody someday makes in full won’t likely live up to what you just mentally pictured.

2. Never Mind the Bollocks, It’s Constantine.

Oh yeah, this is on the right track. John Constantine’s hair may be a bit too perfectly coiffed and his outfit a little clean for a guy who battles otherworldly forces…but that aside, he’s a whole hell of a lot more blazin’ than Keanu Reeves was in the movie version.

Absent, thus far, are his trademark cigarettes…but you’re about as likely to see a sympathetic smoker on TV these days as you are a sympathetic homophobe. And the former have even less advocates than the latter.

3. How Much Do You Love Pop Rocks and Beer? Okay, That’s Too Much.

I really shouldn’t have to tell you this, but…don’t fuck a beer can. Also, don’t put Pop Rocks in your vagina.

But stuffing a crocodile with chicken and wrapping it in bacon before grilling it? That’s fine.

4. Dudes, You’re Getting Adele (Dazeem)!

Disney’s new strategy to synergize the shit out of Frozen begins with Elsa showing up at the end of Once Upon a Time. Yes, you may find that a tad cynical, but, y’know, let it go.

5. Maximum Overdrive.

I can’t really describe Sunset Overdrive any better than the video above does. But I can’t help thinking that the plot point about an energy drink turning people into mutants may be a subtle critique of the game’s target audiences. Especially since they actually made a version of the drink to send to reviewers.

6. Don’t Be Gloomin’, Eat With Moomin.

I liked the Moomintroll books as a kid, but only in Japan would adults want to dine alone with giant plush versions of the Finnish storybook characters

7. Against the Grains.

3DSD

Some impressive optical illusions in sand, from New Zealand.

8. Many Bothans Died to Bring You Not Much Information.

Hey, have you heard the really vague descriptions of Star Wars sets being built in Abu Dhabi? Apparently they involve spaceships and other worlds, it being a space movie and all.

9. Crocodile Dumbee.

Two guys play a game of Crocodile Dentist, enhanced with Exacto knife blades. The results are exactly as you’d expect.

10. Doraemon Gets Forked Where the Subs Don’t Shine.

Disney XD will be running episodes of Doraemon, and have apparently decided that weird Asian things like chopsticks and omelets will confuse American kids.

11. All Your Basores Are Belong to Us.

TR contributor Greggory Basore wants his fellow readers to cook better, and demonstrates how by busting a nut on his pizza and cramming it…into his mouth.

12. Giving “Tilt” a Whirl.

Wanna feel like you might fall to your death from high atop Chicago? You’re covered.

13. Skydivin’ Sandwich.

Everything is cuter in little parachutes – even grilled-cheese sandwiches.

14. Trailer Trifecta: Silly Suckers, Rage Cage, and Terrible, Horrible, No Good Disney Crap.

15. Daryl o’ Laughs.

In a bizarre bit of cultural pandering, here are Norman Reedus and Andrew Lincoln in kimonos, to remind Japanese viewers that The Walking Dead will be returning. Merle Dixon’s racist corpse rotates in its grave.

16. Fly Like an Eagle, Let My Spirit Carry Me.

Birdly – Teaser from maxR on Vimeo.

When Oculus Rift alone won’t do the trick, you can always strap yourself to a pneumatic crucifix with a fan in your face.

17. Transform and Roll out.

Dammit, army, you can’t just call a flying truck a Transformer unless it has a robot mode as well.

18. Pissed-off Kaiju.

He’s 30 stories tall – so how much urine would he produce? Yep, somebody went ahead and figured that out for you.

19. Plastic Fantastic.

Because plastic wasn’t already hard enough to dispose of, now they’re making it self-regenerating. This bodes well, perhaps, for all my sure-to-be-broken toys next time I move.

20. You Can See Russia From Your Browser.

Never Alone – Game Trailer from Never Alone on Vimeo.

Never Alone is a video game based on Native Alaskan lore. Other games are likely to Palin comparison.