Top-Down Smackdown: Worst. Pay-Per-View. Ever?

If WWE is really serious about trying to boost network subscriptions, they really should have kept the free preview going through next weekend. For one thing, it would allow the casual fan to really see what it’s like to get pay-per-views included. For another, I can’t imagine any but the most die-hard fan actually shelling out money for Battleground.

Where do we start with Battleground? Well, there’s the part where I don’t actually remember what any of the matches are save the main event, so I’m gonna have to go check right now and see before I write more…

Huh. Really? That’s IT?

So, more matches will be added tonight then, yes? Maybe?

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins is the only one with any decent buildup whatsoever. And it will steal the show, I’m sure. If Ambrose can get me to watch a whole Randy Orton match without yawning, as he did last week, I say give him every main event spot there is.

I guess Bray Wyatt’s done with Cena – so what was the point of all that? And what’s the point of his feud with Chris Jericho? Shouldn’t Jericho be feuding with Miz, in a rivalry that makes total sense storywise? Oh, right, “total sense” is like a swear word to PG WWE – not allowed on television.

Paige vs. AJ might be good, if we can get a match where, for once, Paige looks like a competitor and not an underdog who suddenly pulls off a weak-looking finisher at the last minute.

The Usos against Rowan and Harper is a match they give us every week on TV, usually with a clean finish. It’s generally a good match, but nothing worth paying for unless there’s a new stipulation. Speaking of which, what the hell is Battleground’s gimmick? Every PPV seems to have one except this. And thus do I forget what’s on it.

Oh, I see. It’s two out of three falls. Okay then, carry on.

And that main event – ugh. A fatal fourway as PPV headliner? A four-man elimination match is something I could get behind, but unless I miss my guess, this is just a way to let perennial loser Kane take the fall yet again while making everyone else look like stars. Granted, WWE were probably scrambling to fill the Daniel Bryan void, but even the addition of a cage would boost the interest in this one 100%.

Tonight, it would be smart to announce a Rusev/Jack Swagger flag match and a Cesaro/Big Show match. Make the stipulation of the latter that Cesaro can only win by swinging the Big Show around five times.

Ah, who’m I kidding. They’ll probably just add Bo Dallas versus the one Matador who isn’t injured.

Do you have any interest whatsoever in Battleground? And if so, why?