Hail Xenu – a John Travolta Pulp Fiction Figure Finally Exists, and He Swears


For years, we toy fans have been told we couldn’t get Pulp Fiction figures because John Travolta’s likeness wasn’t part of the deal, and it simply wouldn’t make sense to do them without both Jules and Vincent – NECA even tried to get around it with some weird blocky figures they never did again. And whether that was just untrue or whether Terl finally cracked, we now have a 13-inch one coming that talks. And says “fuck” a lot.

Here are his quotes:

1. All right. Well, you can walk into a movie theater in Amsterdam and buy a beer. And I don’t mean just like in no paper cup, I’m talking about a glass of beer. And in Paris, you can buy a beer at McDonald’s. And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

2. Nah, man, they got the metric system. They wouldn’t know what the f*** a Quarter Pounder is.

3. They call it a ‘Royale with cheese.’

4. Play with matches, you get burned.

5. I ain’t saying it’s right, but you’re saying a foot massage don’t mean nothin’ and I’m saying it does. Now look, I’ve given a million ladies a million foot massages and they ALL meant something. Now we act like they don’t but they do, that’s whats so f*****’ cool about it. There’s a sensuous thing going on, where even if you don’t talk about it, you know, she knows it. F*****’ Marcelus knew it and Antwone should have f*****’ known better.

6. Chill Jules, this s*** happens.

7. Do you wanna continue this theological discussion in the car, or in the jailhouse with the cops?

8. Alright, it was a miracle, can we go now?

9. Aw man! I shot Marvin in the face!

10. Chill out, man! I told you it was an accident! You probably went over a bump.

11. I was washing ’em. But this s***’s hard to get off. Maybe if you had Lava, I coulda done a better job.

12. I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse that I will take. Now, right now, I’m a f*****’ race car, right, and you got me in the red. And I’m just sayin’, I’m just sayin’ that it’s f*****’ dangerous to have a race car in the f*****’ red. That’s all. I could blow.

Now, if you’re saying to yourself, “That’s cool and all, but why can’t I have Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis or Quentin Tarantino?”

You can.

That is one tasty metaphorical burger.