Comic Movie News Trifecta: The Magdalena, Y: The Last Man, Hercules

magdalena_fcbd_top_cow_by_nebezial.jpg? Newsarama says not only will someone be making a movie out of Top Cow’s warrior-nun-esque series The Magdalena, but it even has a “star” in Jenna Dewan. Newsarama summarizes the plot as follows:

Dewan (Wonderfalls) will play Patience, a woman who discovers she?s part of a line of female warriors descended from Mary Magdalene who serve as protectors of the Catholic Church.

Patience wears the outfit on the right while doing so. If the Catholic Church freaked out about The Da Vinci Code, I’m genuinely looking forward to this.

? /Film says the Y: The Last Man movie could be coming in 2010 and star…wait for it…Shia the Beef! Says the Beef’s Eagle Eye director D.J. Caruso:

?I was talking to Shia [LaBeouf] about this yesterday when we were looping him, because he really wants to do it as well, I would like to prep this movie in October, and start shooting it by January. Warner Bros keeps saying ?We need movies for 2010? I?m like ?We?re the movie!?? said Caruso. ?[Shia] wants to do it, I want to do it. I think we just need to worry about him being exhausted, so I told him, if I prep it in the fall and we start in January, that?s a nice big break.?

I genuinely have no problem with the Beef playing Yorick. Anyone disagree?

? Last but not least, Comic Book Resources says Hancock director Peter Berg will produce a movie based on Radical Comics’ Hercules: The Thracian Wars comic, which as a big Greek myth nerd I was excited about until I read this quote from Radical publisher Barry Levine:

?It’s not a sword-and-sandals type of movie. It really is a dark version of ?Jason and the Argonauts? and all that — we don’t even have monsters in the film. We don’t have mythological Cyclops and Hydras or anything like that. This is about a journey. Not only his journey, but the people who buy into his vision, the other six who go along with him. They all have their demons and conflicts, too, it’s about resolving those conflicts. The one whole theme of this movie is redemption, in the vein of ‘Seven Samurai.’?

Bleh. I have to wonder who on Earth would want to watch a Hercules movie about redemption instead of about punching huge fucking monsters in the face. Peter Berg and Barry Levine, I guess. But count me out.